As Promised...

Where to begin? I won't post pics yet...but I will post. I just don't have time right now.

We had a wonderful visit with Pilot. We didn't do anything other than visit and laugh, eat and visit, eat some more, laugh, eat, play games, eat.... With Pilot Dad down that limited us but that was okay. We still had a great time. And I think Pilot had a great time! *wink*

Pilot left Monday morning and Tuesday evening my sister and her husband arrived for a week's stay. They came to help go through my storage room which still has boxes from my parents move here 7 years ago. Here it is Friday night and we still haven't looked at one box!!! We have a good excuse, honest!! You see, Melinda and Emily Claire (my sister's daughter-in-law along with her first child) arrived Thursday afternoon. How could any of us get any work done when Emily is around?!!! She is so cute and such a good baby! She is now 9 months old, almost 10 months. And such a pretty smile! Today we went shopping...just us girls! Didn't buy anything yet so more shopping trips are in store. *grin*

Now, an update on Jim. He has not been doing well as many of you already know. The vertigo is still hanging around and we are in the third week. If it is still here on Wednesday we will move to address it with his doctor (the oncologist who is an ENT doctor).

So much as happened in such a short amount of time. It's as if everything just "exploded" around us. We have been to see all three doctors, all within one week....the oncologist, the radiologist and the internist. All three agree that Pilot Dad should be removed from the workforce for a significant amount of time so he can have a chance of getting well. Most of his problems, the docs think. are being brought on by malnourishment. In fact, there is a name for the condition which he has. It's called cachexia. This is a very serious condition that needs to be addressed quickly. Pilot Dad's body is wasting away due to many factors. He has no desire to eat because 1) he is not hungry 2)everything tastes awful, yet he is burning a tremendous amount of calories while doing nothing. The result is his body begins to eat his muscle mass (much like an anorexic) and there comes a point of no return...where the body cannot repair the damage to itself which will eventually result in death. Statistics show that 20 to 40% of cancer patients actually die from this condition rather than the cancer.

Since his doctors are recommending complete removal from the work force my hubby is retiring from the PO effective last Friday (Oct. 19) with a disability retirement. I (we) can hardly wrap my mind around the idea of him not returning to the PO.

The first most important issue is to stop the weight loss. That is paramount! Second, we will begin to help him gain weight. Third, we keep him out of large populations of people so he will be somewhat protected from any infections. If he were to get ill now, it would not be good.

Will you join with us in prayer for the above petitions? Neither one of us understood or even knew about how difficult a recovery would be. Once the cancer is removed one begins to get better, right? Not so. At least not with throat cancer. A warning...a desire to keep someone else from going down this path... please, please pay attention during your cancer treatments to your weight loss! It is vitally important to your future health and well being! Do not begin a cycle of downward weight loss at any cost. If you must force yourself then DO it! Put a feeding tube in if needed but then gorge yourself on liquid food!!!

I thought the diagnosis of cancer was a step onto a dark and scary path. That is nothing compared to what we are dealing with right now. This is far scarier. One reason, I think, is that we really have no idea what/where/when we have reached the "point of no return."

God has allowed us to be at this exact place, at this exact time. We expect to see great things just as the Israelites did as they felt "pinned" in by the Red Sea on one side and the Egyptian army on the other sides. God desires intimacy with each one of us. Don't wait until you are in a huge struggle before you turn to Him. Take hold of Him now. Dig into His Word. Find out exactly how much He loves you. Claim Him as your Savior and then LIVE for HIM!!!

ACK!!!

How does one notify all of one's faithful readers when your one and only computer blows a power cord/something or other?!! I went to blog and post a pic of Pilot taken while he was home when my computer just turned itself off. Really. The nerve of the thing! Lol.

But I am now re-united with my beloved computer and all is forgiven since it has been made well again. ;)

I will post again later this evening and bring you all up to date on what has been happening here with all the fam and all the "stuff" going on with my dear husband, etc. So be sure to pop back in. With the time difference and my proclivity to post late at night, most of you will read it tomorrow, I'm sure! LOL!

Till then... I'M BACK!!! *big grin*

Grumblings, Grace and Mercies....

I'm not sure if I've shared already that the ladies Bible study I'm in on Thursday mornings is studying A Woman's Heart ~ God's Dwelling Place, by Beth Moore. We are going to be looking at the tabernacle in-depth. She desires to show how this Old Testament event so dramatically illustrates God's persistent desire to relate to His children as they were building the tabernacle in the wilderness. It was through the tabernacle God initiated a deeper relationship with His Chosen People by bringing reconciliation and revealing His glory. And, we have to admit, there are not many places in the Old Testament where we can see so richly the coming of the true Tabernacle, Jesus Christ.

So because of the above I have been reading a ton in the Old Testament. Oh how rich and sweet! To see the way, from the very beginning in the garden how He loves us and pointed us to Heaven. Even the Garden gives us a glimpse of Heaven. But I digress. That isn't what I want to blog about.

I have been steeped in my reading this week in Exodus 16. I'm sure you can relate to the "events" in your life are swirling around you, and you become increasingly tired of these "events" and you find yourself grumbling. I cannot count on my two hands how many times I have thought over the years about the Israelites and their complaining when they saw how God took care of them, over and over again. To myself I would think, "You know, if I had been there, after seeing how He parted the Red Sea, I would not be so hasty to grumble and complain." Yeah, right.

As I have thought back over the last month or so, I've noticed a slight 'tone' in my blogging. Okay, maybe it's a big tone. Let me tell you, I have been convicted BIG time. I have probably read Exodus 16, over the past week at least 20 times. Seriously. I would no sooner get done than I felt God was telling me to re-read it. [Sad to say, after about the 7th time I began to grumble, what is it with the grumbling?] After about the 12th time I began to get excited because I really felt that the Lord had some truth to share with me. Something He desired for me to learn.

First off, Exodus 16:7 "In the morning you will see the glory of the LORD." As you read in Exodus 16:12-15 it tells about the people grumbling and the Lord tells Moses they will have meat in the evening and then manna in the morning. In the mornings there was a layer of dew all around the camp. When the dew evaporated, there on the surface "of the wilderness there was a fine flake-like thing, fine as the frost on the ground." They had no name for this 'stuff.' The Hebrew phrase for manna is translated a whatness. Do you find it as interesting as I do that God let the Israelites see His glory through a small, almost indistinct object? What else does this remind you? Think about Christ's description in Isaiah 53:2, "...no stately form or majesty...no appearance that would attract [us]..." Oh how often we miss the splendor of God's glory as we search for what we think of as "grandeur."

The above I threw in as a bonus. :) That's not really what I focused on, interesting as it is.
As I read I was reminded they had to pick up their days allotment. Only enough for that day. And, it was gathered according to need. Exodus 16:18 says, "When they measured it with an omer, he who gathered much had no excess, and he who gathered little had no lack; every man gethered as much as he should eat." It was supernaturally adjusted to meet every need! Okay, it gets better, people!

Think about Lamentations 3:22-23 and how often are God's mercies? They are new every morning. The manna was new every morning. Do you see a correlation here? It hit me right between the eyes. I know I have read these same passages over and over again through my Christian life, from the time He came into my life to be my Lord and Savior. What He is saying in these verses is that a sufficient amount of mercy and grace would be set aside for every day of my life, enough every morning!

The characteristic of the manna is that it spoke volumes of God's mercy. He gives it in perfect supply for the need. When the time arises and the need escalates, so does the grace required for me to make it. God is always sufficient in perfect proportion to our need. Every morning He has already set aside the omer for our daily need.

I sat in my chair tonight pondering all this. I was so excited! A favorite saying of mine is "If I am complaining [substitute grumbling] then I am not praying." Because if I am praying then there is no way that my complaining will continue for very long, once I am in His presence. Back to my reading of Exodus 16. When you read this section of scripture you will notice the word "gather" appears in a number of the verses. Over and over again. About 11 times, if I am not mistaken. I do know when things are repeated numerous times in a short section, it must be important. The "gathering" pretty much explains God's mercy and grace to each of His children. They [grace and mercy] are always there, available every day...day in and day out...prior to our need, and in direct proportion to every moment's demand; but we must gather them. That part, the gathering, is completely our responsibility. As Beth says, "The world offers plenty of quail to satisfy our hunger, but we will stuff ourselves without satisfaction. Only God's provision can satisfy a starving soul.

You see, whenever I take my eyes off of Christ and His suffiency, I begin to behave just like the Israelites. My goodness, they got tired of the manna and wanted their Egyptian food! Instead of being thankful for His complete provisions they grumbled.

That is something I really identified with. Oh, I may not have grumbled very loud in my blog postings. But my postings have been um...less frequent...lately. Why? Because I had nothing of significance to blog about? Well, I can say that but really, I have been grumbling, in my spirit, or possibly in a phone call or two to my sister. And, who in their right mind would want to confess to grumbling....about God?!?!

I began listing God's provisions to us over these past 6 months. Yes, this Tuesday, the 16th, it will have been 6 months since Pilot Dad underwent his very first surgery. Never did I imagine we would still be where we are today. I think it's safe to say that the Israelites never expected to be wandering around in the desert forty years later. Now, the kicker, people. Exodus 16:4, "Then the Lord said to Moses, "Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather (the first mention of the word gather in this chapter) a day's portion every day, that I may test them, whether or not they will walk in My instruction." The Hebrew word translated test is nacah, which means to try or prove. Have you ever really thought about God testing you? Don't you normally associate His testing with a "trial" or something that consists of hardship? Well, folks, He also tests us in our prosperity. This is one way He proves our character. Our character is at greater risk in prosperity than in adversity. When things are going abundantly well we often tend to forget the source of that bounty. *ouch*

This is what Beth had in part of her lesson. And with this I will close.

"In the wilderness of Sin God set a test before His children. In essence He responded to their grumblings like this: "I have shown you My presence again and again. I have intervened on your behalf with signs and wonders. I have healed your bitter water and have led you to the palms. I have also let you go hungry so that you would know that it is I who feeds you. Now I will put you through the hardest test of all: I will let you grow accustomed to My presence. I will feed you from My table daily and prove who you really are. Will you grow in awe, or will you grow cold?"

Vertigo...

*~*~*~*~*UPDATE*~*~*~*~*
He did go into work. I drove him and will pick him up at 2:00 am. Still having bouts of the vertigo but he took his med to work with him. We'll see how it goes.


Just when you think everything is finally looking up, the ceiling seems to cave in on you. If you would, please pray for Jim. Last evening I had to run him up to the Insta-Care place (not the ER) because of vertigo. He had experienced it since yesterday morning but I had been out running errands etc, and didn't get home until late afternoon. Poor guy. He was so nauseated from the world spinning around out of control.

The doctor said he would treat the symptoms but to expect it to last 3 or 4 days. Why the inflammation has happened is anyone's guess. He told us to be sure to alert our oncologist, Dr. H. The doc last night gave him a shot of phenagren to help with the nausea and then sent him home with dramamine for today. He wasn't able to go in last night. In fact, he went right to bed when we got home and slept through the night...well, until he asked if I was awake at 4:00 am. He had a dream to tell me about. Of all things!!! *wink* Thankfully, I was able to go back to sleep, as was he.

He is still having the vertigo today so he took the dramamine which, of course, knocks him out. So he has been sleeping all afternoon. I do not know if he will go in for work tonight. I rather doubt it. However, he does have a very important work meeting that he needs to attend tonight...erm...this morning at 12:30 am. I may be driving him to that and then bringing him home after the meeting.

When, oh when, will this roller coaster end?!?! We are both so weary of this up and down yo-yo syndrome we seem to be on. Poor guy. He manages to work one week and a couple of days and then he is hit again. Just like before.

I know that the God, Who is determined to have a relationship with us, and is determined to mold and shape us into the image of Christ, Who loves us unconditionally has a purpose but I, for one, am ready to move on to other areas which may need some tweeking here and there.

I know that He knows that we need some $$$ coming in. I also know that He will meet our needs. Without fail. All I need to do is look back on all the many times in our past He has never failed to care for us.

Again, I have to look at His sufficiency and rest.

Taking a break...

Pilot Dad is doing better!!! His eating is improving. The strides are not huge but they are definite! Finally!! He was able to work last week, 4 hours a night. The saving grace with that was Friday was his 'holiday' so he had a four day work week. We are praying for extra strength to make it through Friday.

My few readers may have noticed I haven't been around much lately. It's very simple really. *big smile* Because PILOT is coming home for a visit! He will arrive next Monday and stay for a week. Surely I don't need to remind you that world around me stops whenever he comes for a visit. Not only is Pilot slated to come but the very next day, after he leaves my sister and her hubby are due to arrive. And no sooner than they arrive my nephew's wife, Melinda is arriving and bringing...*drum roll*...Emily Claire!!!

I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. As some of you know, I am a perfectionist who also procrastinates when handed a very full plate like I've had since August of last year. Remember all the re-decorating I was involved in during the same time as Pilot Dad's cancer? And, all the "going through our mom's things" after Nana died? Well, as we cleaned out her room, knowing that new carpet was to be ordered we moved all her furniture into one of the two spare bedrooms across from the master bedroom.

Then, of course there was the painting and new flooring in the rest of the house which necessitated moving more furniture etc into the same two bedrooms. And, let's not forget our new windows for the whole house! That necessitated our being sure there was a path and clear access to all windows! ACK!!!

Well, with family coming they do need beds to sleep in. Which has caused me to get myself in high gear. That is what I've been working on so diligently over the past few weeks. Hence, sporadic blogging. Besides, I've not had much to blog about. My mind has been somewhere else, I guess. I sit down to type out something and then I think to myself, "No...that's not what I really want to say..." Or something to that effect.

So I am announcing a short blogging break this week to enable to me to finish up before Pilot arrives. Don't give up on me, please! I'm sure I'll have pics to post and funny stories of our good time. In the meantime, I am mulling some ideas around in my mind for blogging. Things with a spiritual bent to them. Check back later, okay?