Do you ever ask yourself if God is really paying attention to your little old life? After all, He sure must be busy with very important issues, much more than my itty bitty life. Is it possible to be sure that the Lord who is so great does, in fact, take a personal interest in each of us individually? The temptation is to say with Jacob, "My way is hid from Jehovah" (Isaiah 40:27).
In answer to the denial that one single person can have the personal attention of God Almighty, the Lord Himself poses a question that is addressed to the doubting individual by its reiterated "you," and that answers itself. It is as if the Lord takes time out from the enormous responsibility of controlling the universe in order to deal with the urgent matter of a fearful saint who thinks that God is too busy with other matters to notice him.
In His reply, the Lord reveals the qualities which are most needed by the Christian who feels that he has been abandoned by God. In between the first descriptive title of "everlasting God," which declares His self-existence and mighty power, and the third name of "Creator of the ends of the earth," which affirms His general interest in this world, is the name Jehovah which God has chosen for Himself as Savior. He created the stars; He made the earth; but He is especially concerned with saving people and consequently interested in them individually, since salvation is by personal choice and not by collective decision.
This may come as a shock to some of you but maintaining the universe does not exhaust God. Therefore, you and I certainly will not. We can easily and quickly wear out ourselves with worry and fear, but we cannot possibly weary Him.
"There is no searching of His understanding," and although it is impossible for us to comprehend an infinite mind or grasp how God can take a personal interest in a million people at the same time, we know it's true for two reasons. If He is able to watch over billions of stars simultaneously, so that not one ever deviates from the course He has prescribed, then the Lord can equally well take care of each of His children. And, this is proved in another way by the fact that immediately insignificant Jacob murmured that God did not notice him, the Lord noticed that he had made that remark, and answered him.
As soon as the Lord sees a need, His first concern is to meet it. Isaiah uses words to describe people in Isaiah 40:28-29 which I believe are very characteristic of many of God's saints today. I see those who "faint," those that "have no might," those which are "weary," and those who "utterly fall." By the grace of God those who utterly fall are comparatively few, but the number of the powerless, exhausted and fainthearted is legion. To each of us, the Lord offers a share of His unlimited strength. "He gives power to the faint," and "they that wait for Jehovah shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint" (Isaiah 40:29, 31).
To walk without fainting is the greatest miracle of all. Oh, most Christians, at some time or other, manage a spectacular flight, with wings momentarily as strong as eagles. And there are whole congregations who may suddenly take off as they soar to some rare spiritual heights. Running is fairly common, too. I would say at most churches one could find the congregation breaking out into a fairly brisk trot regularly on a Sunday morning and may even manage a burst of speed on Wednesday at the prayer meeting. However, a steady, consistent walk, up and down the hill, fair weather or foul, alone or in company, is rare. It is rare, because we do not "wait for Jehovah." We do everything but go to the Lord.
Seek the Lord, first. Go to Him in prayer, first. Read His Word, first. Then, if you feel the need for more prayer, share with someone else so they may help carry the burden with you before His throne of grace. But go. to. the. LORD. first!!!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Memorial Day
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,
I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high unsurpassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.
~ Pilot Officer John Gillespie Magee
In honor of my father, an Air Force pilot, who served our country for 33 years.
August 3, 1917 - April 3, 2001
And, a salute to all service men and women who have served or are serving our country. Thank you for giving of yourselves to our country.
A SMILE to beat all SMILES!!
Oh I am sooo excited! I was over visiting at my niece's blog, Psalm 127, and she had this picture posted! It's Anna Claire, with a SMILE finally!!!! And a great big one at that!!!
Today she is 2 months old!!!
And our countdown continues until she is here in my arms!!! :D
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Psalm 111
"Let us draw near God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith...let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." ~Hebrews 10:22-23
Psalm 111
Praise the LORD!
I will give thanks to the LORD with all my heart,
In the company of the upright and in the assembly.
Great are the works of the LORD;
They are studied by all who delight in them.
Splendid and majestic is His work,
And His righteousness endures forever.
He has made His wonders to be remembered;
The LORD is gracious and compassionate.
He has given food to those who fear Him;
He will remember His covenant forever.
He has made known to His people the power of His works,
In giving them the heritage of the nations.
The works of His hands are truth and justice;
All His precepts are sure.
They are upheld forever and ever;
They are performed in truth and uprightness.
He has sent redemption to His people;
He has ordained His covenant forever;
Holy and awesome is His name.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;
His praise endures forever.
Passed!
He has passed the stone! It's amazing how something so small can bring a man down! Thank you to all who have prayed!
Friday, May 26, 2006
Kidney Stone!
This is short and too the point. I'm tired today. We have been at the ER all day! Pilot Dad called me from the car dealership in excruciating pain. I rushed down to get him and take him to the ER. Turns out he is the owner of a KIDNEY STONE! We are now home and he is doped up waiting for it to pass. Our prayer is that he would pass it before having to return to work Monday night. The sooner it passes the better!
For one of us to go into the ER takes a lot of emergency planning because of dear Nana. I called my dear friend, C, to come take Nana to her hair appt and then get her fixed up with soup and sandwich for when she got home AND something to eat for later, not knowing how long we would be gone! Bless her heart, C even made tea and squeezed the lemon into Nana's glass becasue she can't do anything like that because of her hands. Friends are a true blessing from the Lord!!!
For one of us to go into the ER takes a lot of emergency planning because of dear Nana. I called my dear friend, C, to come take Nana to her hair appt and then get her fixed up with soup and sandwich for when she got home AND something to eat for later, not knowing how long we would be gone! Bless her heart, C even made tea and squeezed the lemon into Nana's glass becasue she can't do anything like that because of her hands. Friends are a true blessing from the Lord!!!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Miss Anna Claire
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Love?
WHY DOES LOVE HAPPEN BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE?
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too."- Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."- Mae, age 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."- Manuel, age 8
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too."- Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."- Mae, age 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."- Manuel, age 8
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Happy 24th Birthday, Son!
Pilot,
Do you remember....
There are those who say it can't be done--
That your dreams are too big and your hopes too high.
They must not know the size of the God you serve.
Keep believing.
Wow! First Lieutenant and your 24th birthday all in the same month!
Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?!
Enjoy your first flight in the C-130 on Monday! What a way to celebrate!!!
We LOVE you!
Do you remember....
There are those who say it can't be done--
That your dreams are too big and your hopes too high.
They must not know the size of the God you serve.
Keep believing.
Wow! First Lieutenant and your 24th birthday all in the same month!
Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?!
Enjoy your first flight in the C-130 on Monday! What a way to celebrate!!!
We LOVE you!
When all else fails....
For someone who has been dealt with unfairly.
Psalm 17
A plea for justice, David urges us to realize the true goal in life...to know God...and the true reward of life...to see God one day.
Hear a just cause, O LORD, give heed to my cry;
Give ear to my prayer, which is not from deceitful lips.
Let my judgment come forth from Your presence;
Let Your eyes look with equity.
You have tried my heart;
You have visited me by night;
You have tested me and You find nothing;
I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress.
As for the deeds of men, by the word of Your lips
I have kept from the paths of the violent.
My steps have held fast to Your paths.
My feet have not slipped.
I have called upon You, for You will answer me, O God;
Incline Your ear to me, hear my speech.
Wondrously show Your lovingkindness,
O Savior of those who take refuge at Your right hand
From those who rise up against them.
Keep me as the apple of the eye;
Hide me in the shadow of Your wings
From the wicked who despoil me.
My deadly enemies who surround me.
They have closed their unfeeling heart,
With their mouth they speak proudly.
They have now surrounded us in our steps;
They set their eyes to cast us down to the ground.
He is like a lion that is eager to tear,
And as a young lion lurking in hiding places.
Arise, O LORD, confront him, bring him low;
Deliver my sould fromt he wicked with Your sword,
From men with Your hand, O LORD,
From men of the world, whose portion is in this life,
And whose belly You fill with Your treasure;
They are satisfied with children,
And leave their abundance to their babes.
As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness;
I will be satisfied with Your likeness when I awake.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Friday's Feast
Feast Ninety-Four
Appetizer
What is the last thing you had to have repaired?
Hmmm, I think this would have to be towel bars in the bathroom. Pilot was home and helped Pilot Dad get the task done.
Soup
If someone gave you $2,000 with the stipulation that you had to spend half of it on yourself and give the rest to charity, where would you spend the $1,000 and which charity would receive your remaining $1,000?
Would a missionary be considered a charity? I would want to give the extra money to a missionary which could use an extra boost. As for myself, I would spend it on our home in some way. Or maybe I would deposit it so it could earn me interest so we could make a trip to see Pilot. But, probably, I would spend it on something for my home. I'm trying to get the downstairs painted and rearranged....maybe I would use it toward that.
Salad
What is one of your favorite songs from the 1980s?
El Shaddai by Michael Card
Main Course
You enter a pet store. Which section do you go to first?
Dog Food aisle. I am not going to get another dog now.
Dessert
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how athletic are you?
With a bum knee...1
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Hodge Podge
What an absolutely gorgeous day! The sun is out, it's headed up to the 90's (which is a tad bit warm for my tastes but I am NOT complaining) and I had lunch with one of my dear friends and her daughter. My prayer partner, Nancy is back in town for a few days, as well as her daughter, Abby. Abby is Pilot's best friend from about 8th grade. What fun to get caught up with what is going on in their lives and to have time to pray together for our families, our children, Nancy's upcoming trip to Zambia (a medical missions trip again), our churches, and our husband's jobs. I think we were able to pretty much cover it all in the limited amount of time that we had! :)
Really, it feels like I haven't had any time to blog for a while and actually that is correct. What with everything going on with my mom (who is doing much better, thank you to all who prayed) and all our appointments, and life in general I've been busy. However, I hope to get back into it pretty soon.
However, I do have grand news to share!!! Drum roll.....please.....
My niece who blogs over at Psalm 127 and just had that precious little girl named Anna Claire is coming to visit!!!! When? June 8th!!!! We are so excited around here we can hardly stand it!!! And, if my sister can swing it, She will be coming about a week before and staying for about a week after Claire's visit! And, it gets better...well, not better than getting to hold that baby, but almost better in a different kind of way....June 8th is my sister's BIRTHDAY!!!! And, as of right now, I'm scheduled for my knee scope surgery. Isn't that thrilling? I mean all the Big News? Not the tiny news...
My sister's visit isn't finalized just yet but she is working on it and I do hope it all works out and comes together. The other thing is Claire's hubby will be holding down the fort with the four boys! Don't you know that will be a riot?! What fun. There will be lots of stories to tell Mom when she gets back home! But I could just hug Bob enabling Claire and Anna Claire to come. (Can you imagine, THREE Claires in the same house?!) Nana was just beside herself with joy! Of course, she has cried a tear or two...Happy tears, not sad tears. She can hardly wait!
Well, that's it for now. It's late and I have another early morning start.
Really, it feels like I haven't had any time to blog for a while and actually that is correct. What with everything going on with my mom (who is doing much better, thank you to all who prayed) and all our appointments, and life in general I've been busy. However, I hope to get back into it pretty soon.
However, I do have grand news to share!!! Drum roll.....please.....
My niece who blogs over at Psalm 127 and just had that precious little girl named Anna Claire is coming to visit!!!! When? June 8th!!!! We are so excited around here we can hardly stand it!!! And, if my sister can swing it, She will be coming about a week before and staying for about a week after Claire's visit! And, it gets better...well, not better than getting to hold that baby, but almost better in a different kind of way....June 8th is my sister's BIRTHDAY!!!! And, as of right now, I'm scheduled for my knee scope surgery. Isn't that thrilling? I mean all the Big News? Not the tiny news...
My sister's visit isn't finalized just yet but she is working on it and I do hope it all works out and comes together. The other thing is Claire's hubby will be holding down the fort with the four boys! Don't you know that will be a riot?! What fun. There will be lots of stories to tell Mom when she gets back home! But I could just hug Bob enabling Claire and Anna Claire to come. (Can you imagine, THREE Claires in the same house?!) Nana was just beside herself with joy! Of course, she has cried a tear or two...Happy tears, not sad tears. She can hardly wait!
Well, that's it for now. It's late and I have another early morning start.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Sunrise
Click on image to enlarge.
Early last Saturday morning, Pilot and his Pilot Friend, arose early and climbed Pinnacle Peak near where they live. They arrived at the summit before sunrise and Pilot was able to snap this picture as the sun rose behind the peaks. Notice the sun star just as it emerges over the rocks.
Early last Saturday morning, Pilot and his Pilot Friend, arose early and climbed Pinnacle Peak near where they live. They arrived at the summit before sunrise and Pilot was able to snap this picture as the sun rose behind the peaks. Notice the sun star just as it emerges over the rocks.
Monday, May 15, 2006
How about my other name?
P | Principled |
I | Insane |
L | Lovable |
O | Odd |
T | Trustworthy |
M | Mysterious |
O | Orderly |
M | Mushy |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
What's in a name?
C | Courageous |
L | Lively |
A | Arty |
I | Inspirational |
R | Revolutionary |
E | Excellent |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Thanks goes to Carol at She Lives!
Bringing You the Letter "F"....
Pam who has a home over at Ramblings and Other Things has tagged me with a word game. Here's how it works. Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter (Pam gave me the letter F). Write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal/blog, including an explanation of what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along. So here goes:
1. Fly: For us it means to get in a plane and take to the skies! Our son, Pilot, flies C-130's in the Air Force.
2. Family: These are the people who we are related to. They may or may not still be living in your home. In fact, they could be spread out far and wide. But they are the ones who love you no matter what, who cheer for you when things are going well, and then come along side of you and cry with you when things are going bad. Sometimes you may be really close with someone who isn't related to you but you feel like they are. In that case they may be "adopted" family.
3. Flute: A musical instrument which one of my roommates played in college. It holds a special place in my heart because she is the one who led me to the Lord some 33+ years ago.
4. Fruit: It's the edible and usually sweet product of a plant or tree such as strawberries, oranges, apples, bananas, kiwi. I love fruit and can't seem to get enough of it to eat. Yum! It's a good thing I'm having strawberries for dessert after dinner.
5. Fret: This is an irritated or worried state for me. It usually happens when I don't turn whatever is bothering me over to the Lord to take care of. I try very hard to not fret and I'm usually successful.
6. Forgiven: This means, for me, that my sins are forgiven by the blood of Christ who died on the Cross so that I can live with Him for eternity! It is a fabulous feeling which I highly recommend to anyone who is searching.
7. Fairway: This is an area of a golf course that is between the tee and the hole and is covered in beautiful, lush green grass. My hubby likes to spend time with his golf clubs here as well as our son.
8. Fillet: Yummmmm...this means the tenderloin of beef! It is the best cut of steak to eat. My favorite!
9. Fuel: This is the really expensive stuff we put in our cars to make it run. As a result of the price of fuel being so high, we've cut way back on our running around in the car.
10. Freebie: I love this! It is something that is given without charge! How great is that? We went to eat at Applebee's one night and when the waitress brought us our check she told us that it was "on the Manager." So, we didn't have to pay anything for our meal! I love these types of freebies!
1. Fly: For us it means to get in a plane and take to the skies! Our son, Pilot, flies C-130's in the Air Force.
2. Family: These are the people who we are related to. They may or may not still be living in your home. In fact, they could be spread out far and wide. But they are the ones who love you no matter what, who cheer for you when things are going well, and then come along side of you and cry with you when things are going bad. Sometimes you may be really close with someone who isn't related to you but you feel like they are. In that case they may be "adopted" family.
3. Flute: A musical instrument which one of my roommates played in college. It holds a special place in my heart because she is the one who led me to the Lord some 33+ years ago.
4. Fruit: It's the edible and usually sweet product of a plant or tree such as strawberries, oranges, apples, bananas, kiwi. I love fruit and can't seem to get enough of it to eat. Yum! It's a good thing I'm having strawberries for dessert after dinner.
5. Fret: This is an irritated or worried state for me. It usually happens when I don't turn whatever is bothering me over to the Lord to take care of. I try very hard to not fret and I'm usually successful.
6. Forgiven: This means, for me, that my sins are forgiven by the blood of Christ who died on the Cross so that I can live with Him for eternity! It is a fabulous feeling which I highly recommend to anyone who is searching.
7. Fairway: This is an area of a golf course that is between the tee and the hole and is covered in beautiful, lush green grass. My hubby likes to spend time with his golf clubs here as well as our son.
8. Fillet: Yummmmm...this means the tenderloin of beef! It is the best cut of steak to eat. My favorite!
9. Fuel: This is the really expensive stuff we put in our cars to make it run. As a result of the price of fuel being so high, we've cut way back on our running around in the car.
10. Freebie: I love this! It is something that is given without charge! How great is that? We went to eat at Applebee's one night and when the waitress brought us our check she told us that it was "on the Manager." So, we didn't have to pay anything for our meal! I love these types of freebies!
New Neighbors!
We have discovered that we have new neighbors just off our patio! Mr. and Mrs. Bird moved in while she was expecting and now their little family has expanded. We haven't seen the babies yet, but it sounds like there are at least three.
Mrs. Bird flies around and lands on the roof (bottom pic) then swoops down to the fence and after scoping out the area lands on the woodpile (top pic). From the woodpile she dives into a hole between logs and then, after a few minutes will fly out another entrance at the bottom of the woodpile. Can you imagine building
your nest in a woodpile? What about cats that like to prowl around our yard?
Mr. Bird keeps a sharp lookout but rarely does anything else. Mrs. Bird is getting plenty of exercise flying off to look for food. She comes back with the biggest worms for her little ones.
It has been so fun for us to watch all the coming and going over the weekend. I'm sure I irritated her something awful because I have been out planting flowers in pots for my patio. When the happy, expectant couple moved in it was still cold and snowy here so there was no activity on our patio. Mrs. Bird probably thinks it's Grand Central Station. No telling what the little ones thought when Pilot Dad started up the lawn mower and mowed the yard today!
We have had other Bird families around who have used our roof for "flight training." Their parents would have them fly from over our garage door to just over our front door. Not a far distance but enough to help them build their confidence. We could watch them from our kitchen table. I wonder when these little ones will be big enough to begin their lessons?
Mrs. Bird flies around and lands on the roof (bottom pic) then swoops down to the fence and after scoping out the area lands on the woodpile (top pic). From the woodpile she dives into a hole between logs and then, after a few minutes will fly out another entrance at the bottom of the woodpile. Can you imagine building
your nest in a woodpile? What about cats that like to prowl around our yard?
Mr. Bird keeps a sharp lookout but rarely does anything else. Mrs. Bird is getting plenty of exercise flying off to look for food. She comes back with the biggest worms for her little ones.
It has been so fun for us to watch all the coming and going over the weekend. I'm sure I irritated her something awful because I have been out planting flowers in pots for my patio. When the happy, expectant couple moved in it was still cold and snowy here so there was no activity on our patio. Mrs. Bird probably thinks it's Grand Central Station. No telling what the little ones thought when Pilot Dad started up the lawn mower and mowed the yard today!
We have had other Bird families around who have used our roof for "flight training." Their parents would have them fly from over our garage door to just over our front door. Not a far distance but enough to help them build their confidence. We could watch them from our kitchen table. I wonder when these little ones will be big enough to begin their lessons?
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
Friday's Feast...
Feast Ninety-Three
Appetizer
What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
This is a no brainer for me. Chocolate. Chocolate with fudge. Double Chocolate fudge. I think you understand.
Soup
What are 3 things you would like to put in a time capsule?
A picture of us nowadays so they could see what we looked like and how we dressed. I always love looking at the old pictures from my grandparents day and before. Number 2 would be a letter describing what each item is and how it is used. And, number 3 would be a well worn Bible with all my favorite verses underlined.
Salad
Name something you are 100% sure of.
God and I make a majority!
Main Course
What is something you do to calm yourself when you're stressed or upset?
1. I make a worry list
2. I turn my worry list into a prayer list
3. I turn my prayer list into an action list
Dessert
If you could receive an invitation to any important event, what would you like it to be?
Well, I did receive an invitation to a most important event this past December. In fact, I actually got to pin the Wings on the guest of honor, our very own Pilot! :) You know, I'm sure there is something out there that I would love to receive an invite to but I really can't think of anything at the moment, besides important family events that is.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
What kind of a Soul are you?
You Are an Old Soul |
You are an experienced soul who appreciates tradition. Mellow and wise, you like to be with others but also to be alone. Down to earth, you are sensible and impatient. A creature of habit, it takes you a while to warm up to new people. You hate injustice, and you're very protective of family and friends A bit demanding, you expect proper behavior from others. Extremely independent you don't mind living or being alone. But when you find love, you tend to want marriage right away. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul and Visionary Soul |
Monday, May 08, 2006
For Everything there is a Season....
*Sigh*
Really, I think it truly is a new season in my life. She has needed help with many things yet, at the same time, she desired to be independent. Whenever I left the house and was going to be gone during a meal, I had to make sure everything was out and opened for her since her hands do not function well. She would do her thing and I would do my thing and we also did "things" together. She hasn't been able to drive since she moved here so I've always had to take her for any of her appointments or when she desired to go shopping. Also, she loved to watch tv, keeping up with all the current news and politics. And, she always stayed up late at night, like maybe to 1 a.m.
There has been a decided change in her. My mom is a different person. The doctors said it could be a combination of things, the infection, medication, imbalance of electrolytes etc, or even a TIA (like a "mini" stroke). They really don't know what to tell us.
Now, she is like a sweet child. She hasn't really wanted to watch tv. Tonight I asked her if she wanted me to turn off her oxygen so she could hear her tv better. She told me that was fine, but that she really wasn't all that interested in tv. I asked if she had a hard time following what was happening or maybe she was having a hard time processing.... She looked at me and said, "I don't know. I just have no interest in it and I don't know why. That seems so different for me."
Trust me, it is definitely different! She sits a lot in her chair or out in the family room, not saying too much. Or she will go back to bed and sleep.
Today I brought her Saturday's paper before we left for church since I knew she hadn't read it yet. When I came home she said she was through with it..."at least all I'm going to look at. But, I can't seem to put it back together in order. Will you do that for me, please?" I brought her today's Sunday paper and she still hasn't opened it.
She is like a child. I've put her to bed Friday and Saturday BEFORE 9 p.m. Can you imagine? I've totally taken over the administering her meds...I've had to out of necessity. I tell her what to do and she meekly accepts it and does it. She has not tried to fight me on anything. Nor has she gotten mad or upset with me because she didn't like what or how I was doing something.
In fact, yesterday on the way to the restaurant, maybe a 10 minute drive, she must have complimented me about 10 - 15 times. Then she proceeded to tell us how proud she was of both of her daughters and her son-in-laws. And, how happy she was to be alive.
She believes she was in the hospital for weeks not over night. There's difficulty processing times and the order of things to be done. And, she doesn't like to be left alone. I believe it scares her to be alone...maybe because she fears what could happen? I don't know.
I just know, that the fiesty, independent, strong woman who could run her home and take care of a teenager and a down's son while her husband was in Vietnam, or TDY etc., is no longer here. It's a major adjustment. A MAJOR adjustment for me. She is now requiring all of my time. I need to dress her, and undress her. Help her in many more areas than before. When I went to wake her this morning, she smiled up at me from the bed, just like Pilot did as a toddler when I would go in and wake him up.
It's never like we imagine it, is it? I've thought many times what it will be like at the end for my mother. When my father died, it certainly was not at all what I had envisioned. And, it was so quick. I felt like I really hadn't had time to say goodbye. But, I know when it is all said and done, even though it wasn't what I would have chosen, it is still perfect, even in it's seemingly imperfections. I know that people pass on their legacy's not only in how they have lived but in how they die.
I guess the important thing for me is to remember to make my Mom feel important. She still grieves for my father and now, she is hearing of more and more of their friends who are passing away. Yet, she still remains.
I can remember thinking that I'll live "forever." Well, forever until I was "old," like 80. Then when I was in my 20's, really old was still a person in their 80's. But, older was someone in their late thirties or older. As I reached my mid-30's my brother died. I remember looking down at his still body early that morning. He made me understand that 30 isn't old at all. In fact, it is a very short time on this dot that we call life. Once again I readjusted my thinking.
When, my father died at 84 I still thought he was too young to die. Oh yes, he looked old and moved much slower but he was still too young to die. After all, we were just beginning on this journey called the "last years." He was the one who would live forever, he was the one who always knew what to do, he was the man who was so humble and gracious, and loving, and kind. And he was gone. He was the one who loved my mother unconditionally.
Losing a parent is the last line of defense between the living and the dead. They aren't supposed to die, yet they do. I can remember how I never thought they aged and then on one of my trips home I saw such a difference. Somehow, we live our lives knowing that God is in control, yet at the very same time, we think we have some control too. Oh, yes, I have free will in choosing how I live my life, that privilege granted to me by God . But when it comes to death, we may think we have a say but God reminds us that it is He that is in control.
As we look at God's ways there is something else. It is only in death that our ultimate legacy can be left. "I tell you the truth," says Jesus in John 12:24, "unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."
That's where life really begins...at death. Meanwhile, I go on, praying that when my time comes, I'll be found faithful to those I've left behind.
Really, I think it truly is a new season in my life. She has needed help with many things yet, at the same time, she desired to be independent. Whenever I left the house and was going to be gone during a meal, I had to make sure everything was out and opened for her since her hands do not function well. She would do her thing and I would do my thing and we also did "things" together. She hasn't been able to drive since she moved here so I've always had to take her for any of her appointments or when she desired to go shopping. Also, she loved to watch tv, keeping up with all the current news and politics. And, she always stayed up late at night, like maybe to 1 a.m.
There has been a decided change in her. My mom is a different person. The doctors said it could be a combination of things, the infection, medication, imbalance of electrolytes etc, or even a TIA (like a "mini" stroke). They really don't know what to tell us.
Now, she is like a sweet child. She hasn't really wanted to watch tv. Tonight I asked her if she wanted me to turn off her oxygen so she could hear her tv better. She told me that was fine, but that she really wasn't all that interested in tv. I asked if she had a hard time following what was happening or maybe she was having a hard time processing.... She looked at me and said, "I don't know. I just have no interest in it and I don't know why. That seems so different for me."
Trust me, it is definitely different! She sits a lot in her chair or out in the family room, not saying too much. Or she will go back to bed and sleep.
Today I brought her Saturday's paper before we left for church since I knew she hadn't read it yet. When I came home she said she was through with it..."at least all I'm going to look at. But, I can't seem to put it back together in order. Will you do that for me, please?" I brought her today's Sunday paper and she still hasn't opened it.
She is like a child. I've put her to bed Friday and Saturday BEFORE 9 p.m. Can you imagine? I've totally taken over the administering her meds...I've had to out of necessity. I tell her what to do and she meekly accepts it and does it. She has not tried to fight me on anything. Nor has she gotten mad or upset with me because she didn't like what or how I was doing something.
In fact, yesterday on the way to the restaurant, maybe a 10 minute drive, she must have complimented me about 10 - 15 times. Then she proceeded to tell us how proud she was of both of her daughters and her son-in-laws. And, how happy she was to be alive.
She believes she was in the hospital for weeks not over night. There's difficulty processing times and the order of things to be done. And, she doesn't like to be left alone. I believe it scares her to be alone...maybe because she fears what could happen? I don't know.
I just know, that the fiesty, independent, strong woman who could run her home and take care of a teenager and a down's son while her husband was in Vietnam, or TDY etc., is no longer here. It's a major adjustment. A MAJOR adjustment for me. She is now requiring all of my time. I need to dress her, and undress her. Help her in many more areas than before. When I went to wake her this morning, she smiled up at me from the bed, just like Pilot did as a toddler when I would go in and wake him up.
It's never like we imagine it, is it? I've thought many times what it will be like at the end for my mother. When my father died, it certainly was not at all what I had envisioned. And, it was so quick. I felt like I really hadn't had time to say goodbye. But, I know when it is all said and done, even though it wasn't what I would have chosen, it is still perfect, even in it's seemingly imperfections. I know that people pass on their legacy's not only in how they have lived but in how they die.
I guess the important thing for me is to remember to make my Mom feel important. She still grieves for my father and now, she is hearing of more and more of their friends who are passing away. Yet, she still remains.
I can remember thinking that I'll live "forever." Well, forever until I was "old," like 80. Then when I was in my 20's, really old was still a person in their 80's. But, older was someone in their late thirties or older. As I reached my mid-30's my brother died. I remember looking down at his still body early that morning. He made me understand that 30 isn't old at all. In fact, it is a very short time on this dot that we call life. Once again I readjusted my thinking.
When, my father died at 84 I still thought he was too young to die. Oh yes, he looked old and moved much slower but he was still too young to die. After all, we were just beginning on this journey called the "last years." He was the one who would live forever, he was the one who always knew what to do, he was the man who was so humble and gracious, and loving, and kind. And he was gone. He was the one who loved my mother unconditionally.
Losing a parent is the last line of defense between the living and the dead. They aren't supposed to die, yet they do. I can remember how I never thought they aged and then on one of my trips home I saw such a difference. Somehow, we live our lives knowing that God is in control, yet at the very same time, we think we have some control too. Oh, yes, I have free will in choosing how I live my life, that privilege granted to me by God . But when it comes to death, we may think we have a say but God reminds us that it is He that is in control.
As we look at God's ways there is something else. It is only in death that our ultimate legacy can be left. "I tell you the truth," says Jesus in John 12:24, "unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."
That's where life really begins...at death. Meanwhile, I go on, praying that when my time comes, I'll be found faithful to those I've left behind.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Friday, May 05, 2006
Is this how it's done?
Nana's Home!!
She's home!!!! No one really knows exactly what has happened to her. There was no evidence of a stroke but "they" say she could have had a TIA (mini stroke) which would not register anywhere on tests. Or, it could have been a combination of the infection, imbalance of electrolytes, antibiotic, the head thing etc.
She is much more lucid, still not totally up to the mental capacity that she was but definitely improved greatly! She is, of course, very weak. Hopefully, her P/T will be able to be resumed and even extended, if at all possible.
So, now I enter a new "season" of life. May He be glorified throughout it!
Thank you so much for praying! I know He was working in it all! Blessings to each one of you!
She is much more lucid, still not totally up to the mental capacity that she was but definitely improved greatly! She is, of course, very weak. Hopefully, her P/T will be able to be resumed and even extended, if at all possible.
So, now I enter a new "season" of life. May He be glorified throughout it!
Thank you so much for praying! I know He was working in it all! Blessings to each one of you!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Another Update on Nana....
Update: My mom was admitted to the hospital late Thursday afternoon. We spent all day in the ER having tests done and blood drawn. They are trying to rule out a stroke along with her other problems. Hubby and I left her tonight ready to go to sleep. She is still confused but maybe not quite as much. I'll be heading back to the hospital first thing this morning but if there is dialogue I'll respond on Saturday sometime. Right now we don't know if she will get released tomorrow or if she will be kept through the weekend.
I know, I didn't need to post at all. However, I did need to post because it helps me to focus on the One who is Able. Able in all things. Able to sustain life, able to take life, able to heal, able to strengthen, able to pour out His love, mercy and grace on our family. After my day today(Thursday) I need to redirect my focus, calm my thoughts, and direct my attention upwards. This helps me to do that.
I know, I didn't need to post at all. However, I did need to post because it helps me to focus on the One who is Able. Able in all things. Able to sustain life, able to take life, able to heal, able to strengthen, able to pour out His love, mercy and grace on our family. After my day today(Thursday) I need to redirect my focus, calm my thoughts, and direct my attention upwards. This helps me to do that.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Light posting....
My Mom has been pretty sick for over a week now so my postings have been hit and miss. I'll try to drop a line or two, or a random thought if I can. Maybe I'll get more time this weekend. We'll see. If the Lord nudges you, please pray for her. She is pretty much over the kidney infection. This is something else. Thanks everyone!
Looking for more?
There are some excellent posts over at Christian Chapter Chat this past week. Click on the highlighted link and go read a few.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
This and that Today
No, this isn't our dog but I thought to myself this is one dog who must live a great life!! He looks like he has absolutely no cares in the world.
In other news, I did find our dog. No telling where he had been. All of a sudden, there he was in the front yard. He may have come from the school across the street because there were kids over there for a game and the parents were sitting around cheering them on. He is such a people person it wouldn't have surprised me. However, he didn't come when I called and I was looking over there. Oh, well, at least he is home safe and sound. Now he can just dream about his little bit of freedom he experienced!
Mom is still struggling with her kidney infection, however she only has three days left of the antibiotic...Hooray! I'm getting her up and ready today to go have an ultra sound done of her heart and she will come home with a heart monitor to wear for 24 hours. Her appointment with the cardiologist is next Tuesday.
I guess I've dilly dallied long enough on the computer. It's time for me to go get myself ready. We can't have "my lady" ready without me being ready.
In other news, I did find our dog. No telling where he had been. All of a sudden, there he was in the front yard. He may have come from the school across the street because there were kids over there for a game and the parents were sitting around cheering them on. He is such a people person it wouldn't have surprised me. However, he didn't come when I called and I was looking over there. Oh, well, at least he is home safe and sound. Now he can just dream about his little bit of freedom he experienced!
Mom is still struggling with her kidney infection, however she only has three days left of the antibiotic...Hooray! I'm getting her up and ready today to go have an ultra sound done of her heart and she will come home with a heart monitor to wear for 24 hours. Her appointment with the cardiologist is next Tuesday.
I guess I've dilly dallied long enough on the computer. It's time for me to go get myself ready. We can't have "my lady" ready without me being ready.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Pray!!!
Our beloved dog is missing. The yard people left the gate open unbeknownst to us! I'm out searching.
He's been found!!! :D
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