I've decided on a verse to cling to while I am "growing" through this time of multiple strokes. It is Pslam 119:17, "Deal bountifully with Your servant, that I may live and keep Your Word."
My first prayer was for the Lord to obviously stop causing the strokes totally. Then, I thought about how the BIG one is supposed to follow shortly after the small ones. Of course, that brought up all sorts of images to my mind, made even more vivid by what I went through 5 years ago. So then I prayed that if the Lord did allow a major stroke through His hands to my body then my heart's desire is for Him to make it a BIG enough one to take me home. I don't want to be left here not able to function, nor do I want hubby to have to take care of me. Now, I realize that is totally selfish on my part, and probably totally fear filled also.
I went to the Lord and asked Him to show me what perspective I should have on dealing with this whole issue. I looked at the Psalms. I combed through His Word. I poured over different passages that would pertain but it wasn't until I was walking into church this morning when my dear friend, my pastor's wife, said to me, "Thank you for your email. The very first thing which popped into my mind was Pslam 119:17."
I thought about the verse all day. I meditated on it. I chewed on it. I allowed it to permeate my mind. It soaked into the very fibers of my being. The long and short of it is that now, instead of being afraid and desiring to check out if anything "bad" happens to me, (really, what can be bad if He is to bring good out of it?) I've decided to cling to this verse. And, no matter what He allows to pass through His hands I want to live and keep His Word. That is my heart's desire. And, I will continually remember that He is with always......
4 comments:
My grandmother's bible was passed down to my mother, and now I have the priveledge of using it. I read Psalm 119:17 and saw that my mother had marked it too. I found that interesting because she was also having mini strokes. She also marked Psalm 119: 48 and 59.
All are wonderful promises for us to hold.
By the way, just for the record, my mother did not die from a stroke.
God Bless you dear.
Wonderful verses, MM! They are worth memorizing and making it one's own. Thank you so much for sharing. It is interesting that we both made note of Psalm 119:17 and both of us were dealing with strokes.
It's amazing to watch how you wrap your brain (no pun intended) around this situation. You really are an inspiration to me - more than I ever even let on. I can't tell you how many times in the past year when I've dealt with my own health fears that I said to myself, "How would Claire handle this?"
Now I know...
I'm pretty much speechless. I just wanted you to know that I'm listening.
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