My Honey!! :D

My honey is home! I'm so glad. :D He is still pretty sore and won't be going to radiation today. He isn't able to stretch out far enough on the table for his treatment. So tomorrow he will go and try it.

We are waiting to hear from the home health nurse today so we can find out how to use it. It does look pretty simple so I don't think it's any big deal.

I have a cd playing old favorite hymns while I pick up and straighten up. The clutter is beginning to derail me and I can't have that!! After all, I just got it all cleaned up not too long ago!

Have a superb day, everyone! May you constantly be aware of His great blessings all around...even the smallest. Would you take a moment and thank Him for something that He brought your way today? Just a reminder...that "something" could be something which we think is a "negative" rather than a "positive." But when it comes from God, it is always a positive! So thank Him and give Him all praise, glory and honor today!! I know I am!!

It's done....

I just arrived home, feeding the dog as I came in through the door. A long day and longer still as I have two loads of laundry to do before going to bed tonight. However, Pilot Dad came through the insertion of the feeding tube superbly. He wasn't feeling "superbly" when I left as the morphine had not kicked in. Whatever they used to numb the abdomen began wearing off late this afternoon. That produced cramping in the abdomen area at the point of insertion. Me thinks the body likes to reject foreign objects. ;) Seriously, he was hurting but had managed to eat (by mouth) 1 small bowl of jello, 1 bowl of beef broth, and 1 small carton of apple juice was downed. Tomorrow we will get instructions on how to use it etc. He is glad he is staying overnight since the pain began. The convenience of the nurse just putting the morphine directly into his IV line is wonderful. (And I am not having to do it!) ;)

Thank you for all your prayers. Knowing that people are before His throne of grace on our behalf warms us all over. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Prayer request...

Pilot Dad is being admitted to the hospital tomorrow (Wednesday) at 9:00 am for a feeding tube to be inserted. It is required for him to stay overnight to make sure there are not any complications. He will undergo anesthesia so prayer is requested for no complications to arise with that. And for a safe and normal procedure to take place. Thank you for your faithfulness in praying.

We are reminding ourselves when we can't, He can!!!

Thanking the Lord....

We had a great weekend. Filled with fellowship. Friday we went out to eat with friends and then on to an open house for dear friends of ours who have been medical missionaries in Nigeria for the last 20 years with Campus Crusade for Christ. They are now moving to Rochester, Minnesota where he will practice at the Mayo Clinic. He will also continue his research work into rickets.

Saturday we went down to our friends in Orem and were going to go on a picnic up in the canyon. However, our temperature was 100º F and the heat zaps any strength out of Pilot Dad so everyone opted for a picnic indoors where we could enjoy good old central air conditioning. :)

Then for Father's Day we went over to our best friend's home and celebrated the day together. Their daughter H's husband is in Afghanistan, so she was there with her two children, their other daughter, G, was there and then us. It was a great meal. Teriyaki chicken done on the grill, fruit salad, a jello salad with "frosting" (whipped cream), corn on the cob and homemade ice cream for dessert!! I am praising God for good food which nourishes our bodies.

We have found that Pilot Dad does better on his eating in a social situation. He picks and eats but manages to get some food down while everyone is visiting. This weekend the winners were the corn on the cob and watermelon. :) However, as the doctor reminded us today, they have no calories and no protein. I praise the Lord for good friends who help us get through the tough times.

Speaking of the radiation visit today...we saw the doctor after PD had weighed. :( He has lost 10 pounds since last Monday. The doctor was not happy with PD...well, she was not happy about the loss of weight. PD feels so bad about not being able to force himself to eat. He thinks he is "woosing out" but I tried and the doctor tried telling him that there is nothing wrong with going with the feeding tube. My thoughts are praising the Lord we have such things in this day and age. It wasn't too long ago where feeding tubes didn't exist. So, Wednesday morning is the big day. After inserting, he cannot use it for 24 hours. We will be set up with a home health nurse who will come and teach us how to use it and will bring him the supplies needed. I praise God for the medical advances we have at our disposal in this day and age.

This morning was a good morning to trim the bushes and trees out back. One of our pastor's sons offered to come over when we were visiting Friday night. His wife was at work and he had the day off so his help was greatly appreciated. Jim "supervised" and Jesse did the work and climbed up on the ladder etc. They almost finished but J will come back next week and finish up. I am praising the Lord for His continued blessings when we are in need.

"Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord GOD is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places" (Habakkuk 3:18-19).

A slow day...

Today has been a day for sitting on the front porch, holding hands and watching the world go by. The flag was gently blowing in the breeze and the birds were making melodies. A good day to sit back and take it easy.

Pilot Dad has had a rough two days. He did not go into work the last two nights. Tonight he will not go either. The good thing is they started him on liquid Lortab and a wonderful "Magic Mixer." It's a "cocktail" of three main narcotics and some other stuff which he can use every 4 hours, either by swishing, gargling or swallowing. It is supposed to work wonders according to other patients. Hopefully, this will provide a better night of sleeping.

The painting is beginning to move into the kitchen/family room area. We come and go and each time he has accomplished more and more. I LOVE the color! Now I am just eager to get finished with everything. Patience, patience, patience!

This looking down the hallway, toward the bedrooms, from the kitchen/family room area. The lighting isn't the best but hopefully you can see the greenish tint of the walls.

Moving forward...

I'm back!!! I apologize for my previous outbursts. Obviously I had taken my eyes off Jesus. You know, it really is ugly when it's all about me rather than HIM.

First off, we talked to the doctor on Monday (yesterday) and she is more than willing to write a letter telling the workplace that he will be back to work full time after about 2-3 weeks from his last radiation treatment. That will give him time to recoup some of his strength and energy before beginning work again.

Let's see, we noticed this morning that there are several small round patches on his face where he has lost his beard. They are not the size of a dime but almost. I imagine those will only get bigger. The doctors tell us that the "usual" time frame for symptoms to show up is around 2 weeks into treatment. Well, just for general info to anyone who might be getting ready to begin radiation treatment, don't be surprised if you begin earlier than 2 weeks, and conversely, don't be surprised if you make it to the third week. Everyone is different. Pilot Dad experienced nausea by his third treatment, the thick mucousy 'stuff' began earlier than 2 weeks, etc.

Besides the hair loss he has sores on his tongue which is caused my his taste buds trying to work over hard to do their job but the radiation is messing with them. His taste buds are changing. They had said that he might first think everything tastes sweet, then sour and finally, everything will taste like cardboard. Most things, especially water, is tasting metallic to him.

For the mucousy 'stuff' gargling with 1 tsp of salt, and 1 tsp of baking soda in 1 pint of water (16 oz) is crucial. It cuts the mucous quite well for a little while. He can swallow it and it doesn't taste awful and it doesn't mess up his internal system, or he can just gargle it. He is gargling quite often but it brings relief from the thick stuff. He is making up a jar to take to work to have on hand.

He still hasn't come up with the best way to sleep. The problem again is the mucous. If he sleeps on his back (or his side) he eventually awakes choking on the thick stuff. He usually gets up and gargles even though it disrupts his sleep but the relief brought on by the gargling is so good it is worth it.

Let's see what else is going on...hmmmm, his nausea is being controlled by medication so that isn't a problem now. I told you about the sores on his tongue but there are bright red spots covering the roof of his mouth and going down his throat. He is still making a valiant effort with his eating but we have bought a supply of Ensure to help boost what he may not be getting. We have ordered our Champion Juicer (Commercial grade) on line and it should be arriving by the end of the week. He is visibly wincing when he swallows so I think by Friday he will begin the pain medications.

We had a WONDERFUL weekend!!! How I praise the Lord for that! Jim managed to mow the yard on Saturday and plans to continue as long as he is able. We have lined up one of the teenage boys at church to come and do it once Jim is not able. (This is where we miss having Pilot at home!!! He was always so good to step in and do whatever needed to be done when his dad has been incapacitated.) We also ate Sunday dinner over at the parents of Pilot's girlfriend. Such a lovely meal out in their beautiful backyard under their pavilion. Warm and sunny with just the slightest breeze to keep us from being too hot.

One of the blessings which I have come to appreciate is the extra time Pilot Dad and I have been able to spend together. It has caused us to slow down and smell the roses! We are in the midst of redoing our home. We decided PD had to conserve his energy so we hired a pastor friend to do the painting. The flooring and counter tops should be ready to go in sometime toward the end of next week. The carpet has been ordered and should arrive in about 2 weeks and then all that will be left is to have the new furniture delivered. This all began before we ever knew it was cancer so we have explained the situation to everyone and they have been really great to work with us.

Oh my goodness! This has become quite the missive!! If you have persevered this far in reading then I salute you!! :)


Psalm 31
In You, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be ashamed; in Your rightousness deliver me...For You are my rock and my fortress; for Your name's sake You will lead me and guide me...Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have ransomed me, O LORD, God of truth...I will be glad and rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul...But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD, I say, "You are my God." My times are in Your hand...Make Your face to shine upon Your servant; save me in Your lovingkindness...How great is Your goodness, which You have stored up for those who fear You, which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You, before the sons of men!...Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the LORD.

Conversations...

I am so naive...dense...obtuse...

Me: Have you talked to anyone about getting an advance on your sick leave?

PD: Yes. You have to be able to pay it back.

Me: Yes.

PD: Well, the doctor isn't willing to write that guarantee at this time.

Me: *Confused* What do you mean?

PD: Not if I DIE.

Me: *Aghast* Eyes growing huge* Oh my goodness! I thought you meant you had to be able to pay it back financially.

PD: Well, yes. Financially, meaning that I am alive to work. And the doctors don't know at this point what my outcome will be.

Me: *shoulders sagging* Oh.

His Mercies Are New Every Morning...

As usual everything always looks better in the morning! Praise the Lord for that! It is abundantly clear to both of us that Pilot Dad must get his rest/be rested. Otherwise, everything else is just compounded.

We both went to bed early...soon after 9 pm and slept wonderfully. God provided rain throughout the night which made our sleeping extra good! ;)

My heart is rejoicing today. Even though it is raining the Son is shining!

"Be anxious [pulled in different directions...it is a command in the original Greek!!] for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

My focal point is the Lord. I petition the Lord. My prayer is bathed in adoration and appreciation. Thank you, Lord Jesus!

"The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I have hope in Him'" (Lamentations 3:22-24).

Sigh...

I needed this reminder today of the beauty of God's world. We have had a terrific south wind blowing all day (41 mph) which has made me on edge. Well, to be honest, it isn't the wind which has me on edge but the wind did not help any.

"The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and He knows them that trust in Him" (Nahum 1:7).

I have to admit that I am scared. Oh, I have had my "what ifs" which float around, come in and go out, but I really haven't felt any fear. Until today. Pilot Dad has experienced the thickening of his saliva, a sore throat, tenderness in his cheek, nausea, and fatigue. All today. He hasn't slept well and will not go into work tonight. My problem is I cannot fathom week 4...week 5...week 6. How do I keep from jumping ahead rather than dealing with the here and now? My heart breaks to see him like this now...what will I be like at week 6? Focus Claire. "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).


"He restores my soul" (Psalm23:3). Literally in the Hebrew: He restores my LIFE.

"For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect" (Psalm 18:31-32).

"The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; indeed, my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the LORD continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely" (Psalm 16:5-9).

I firmly believe that we humans find security in planning and knowing the future. But that isn't what God tells us to do. He says, "Just trust me." No matter what. No matter what things seem like. No matter what the situation is looking like, no matter what one's most trusted friend says, God says to 'trust Him.' I need to remind myself that I have formed a partnership with God and that makes us ONE.

FOR

ALL

I

TRUST

HIM