Saturday, February 10, 2007

A Difficult Day....

My sister and I have spent the entire day going through our mom's closets. We still have another full closet to go of hanging things. My mom never threw away anything that was of good quality. In fact, we came across the dress mom bought after she lost her "baby" weight when I was born! It is still a sharp looking dress without blemish and could be worn today. Some of my friends are going to be quite blessed to have a free shopping day. Alas, neither my sister or I can wear size 6, 8, or 10's. We have set aside a ton of the 6's and P/S's to send to our aunt, my mom's younger sister. She is thrilled to be receiving them.

Marsha and I have done all we can today. It is so difficult to go through all of her newer things. Especially what she had been wearing these last few months. I can only be in her room for a limited amount of time before I have to go out for a break. How I wish she would have let me start going through things at the beginning of last year. Even if she wore a new outfit everyday she still would not have worn everything she had. Incredible.

We are going out to eat again tonight. It proved to be cheaper for Marsha and Vic to fly out on Tuesday rather than this weekend. I'm glad. I can hardly bear thought of them leaving. I do have one friend lined up to come Wednesday afternoon to try on clothes. That will help having a friend in.

I wonder....has she thought about us since she left? Or is she too busy strolling along with her Lord, seeing her family and friends who have gone before her. Has she met up with Paul, or John, or Abraham and Sarah? There really is no hurry, after all, because we have eternity. But I wonder.


Monday will be two weeks. We have been so busy with the lawyer and taxes and the banks etc, I feel like I haven't even mourned. Actually, I guess I really haven't. Tears? Yes, some. More on other days, not as much on some days. Maybe once everyone is gone and it's just Pilot Dad and me left.

8 comments:

HeyJules said...

I've always found that for me, the real mourning may take weeks to begin. I think even though we logically know that someone we love has died, it takes awhile for us to let our head tell our heart.

Take your time, Claire. Like your mother, you have plenty of time to get through this...let your body set the rhythm of your grief and take it in the waves as it comes. And, of course, remember to look to where she is now for comfort along the way.

Much love,
J.

Dave said...

Whilst I found it difficult to go through mum & dad's things I also found that it brought back many good memories and now I have some of those things in my home. I wear a jacket that my dad wore and I use his spectacle case everyday. It is a comfort to me.
And yes, the real mourning may take weeks to begin, and at times it will be difficult, so take your time and continue looking to Him.
(((((HUGS)))))
Dave.

G~ said...

(((((((claire)))))))

i'm so sorry, sweetie. i agree w/everyone else... take your time. you don't get the mourning over all at once. and like dave mentioned... enjoy reliving the memories. i have absolutely adored the time sifting through mamaw's pictures. what fun to glimpse her life way back then.

thinking of you and praying comfort and peace on you.

love,

g~

jettybetty said...

(((HUGS)))

Mountain Mama said...

When My Mother passed, my grief came like your's, a little at a time. I think the Lord arranges it that way so we can tolerate it.
In my case, I had been grieving for mom for several years before she died because she had Alzheimer's and I was loosing her a little at a time over the years.
God bless you and help you through this time.

Terry said...

Dear Pilot Mom...David Fisher has been ill for the last few days. He wants us to pray for him...Thanks so much


I will be back later to read yuou posting...Love Terry

Ducharmenator said...

I remember (last September) the first time I saw my mom's apartment after she'd passed. I envisioned her lying in her bed with her hands tucked under her head, as she drifted from life to death. I envisioned her last evening in her apartment before she went to bed that last night. I didn't want to touch anything in her apartment because it felt so personal. I cried in her room. I packed some things. I cried some more. It felt good to be able to say good-bye this way. My thoughts continue to be with you now.

Andrea said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Claire. I haven't been on the 'net for awhile and so just caught up with all your posts tonight and was so sad to find out about your mom's passing to her new life; sorry for the grief you're bearing now.