Sunday, February 25, 2007

A Stroke...

Friday, I was thrown a bombshell by something which occured on Tuesday, the 20th. Friday morning I looked at the all familiar verses in Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious for about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I read those verses and thought to myself, "Wow, for once I can honestly say I am not anxious about anything. I'm beginning to get well, my Mom is with the Lord, everything is going great with Pilot, yada, yada, yada."
Fast forward a few hours and I'm sitting in the doctor's office getting checked out for my right arm and hand "going to sleep." You know, that tingling feeling where you shake your arm or hand and normal feeling resumes. In my case "normal" didn't resume, and still hasn't fully.
I begin telling the doctor what happened and why I think it may be diabetic related, or possibly a pinched nerve, etc... He checks me out and then drops the bomb, "I think you have had a small stroke."
My first thought, "What a difference a couple of hours make."
My second thought which I verbalized, "But I felt this, whereas with my other two strokes I didn't feel pain, no discomfort etc, I just couldn't get my arm and hand to do what my brain was telling it to do. I did/do have hypersensitivity after the strokes, but not while the strokes were happening." Let me explain so others can know, you may or may not experience sensations when you are experiencing a stroke. I guess that is why they have those letters behind their names, M.D. I don't have those letters.
I felt/feel like a walking time bomb, just waiting to go off. There really isn't anything I can do. Well, yes, I can eat right and exercise, etc but, let's get real here. If a blog clot decides to break off and float along, I have no control over that! None!
They say if you have had a small stroke you can expect a big one to follow shortly after. Of course, the longer you go without experiencing a big one the chances begin to diminish somewhat. It has been five years since my last one. Now, I go through the waiting cycle again. That's where one feels like anything could happen.
I have hung on to the Philippians verses like a life line. And there are others which are enabling me to feel more stable, not so "tossed" to and fro. I know that He desires the very best for me and if that equates to having another stroke...then so be it. I will "dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust" (Ps. 91:1-2). "I lift up my eyes to the hills---where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth" (Ps. 121-2).
"Look upon my suffering and deliver me, for I have not forgotten you law. Defend my cause and redeem me; preserve my life according to your promise" (Ps. 119:153-154).
Regardless of what He has in store for me, I pray that He will be glorified. May every thought I think and every word I utter, be edifying to those around me, and honoring to Him in all ways. I trust Him when I am fearful. I rest in Him for my peace. I delight in Him because He has saved me. ME!!! I cannot fathom it, but I am ever so grateful He did.
In the meantime I, like Paul look to Him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor. 12:9-10).


Dawn said...

I'll be keeping you in my prayers my friend.

His Singer said...

Oh Claire! Julie told me at church yesterday, but it didn't show up on Bloglines until today. Know we care, and we're praying. And DO take care of yourself...we need you alive, well and whole!

eija said...

Oh my gosh! You sure keep having excitement in your life... But if not for your, then for our sake, would you please move onto calmer waters?

Lord could you please make it happen? Please?

Praying for you, Friend.

Saija said...

sheesh, Claire ...

it is GOOD to know that our times ARE in God's hand!

Joe said...

We shall certainly continue to pray that you become more aware daily of God's suffecient grace!

Corry said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

God's Grace.

Christa said...

2 Corinthians 12:9-10, what a great perspective you have, Claire...I am praying for you!

Jackie said...

Goodness Claire, you sure have been through a lot lately!

Thank God that you were able to get to a doctor, and that the doctor was with it enough to know what the problem was. (and I really mean Thank God, because he is the one to protect you through all this).

Please keep us updated,and know that we will be thinking of you!!

by S.Hunt said...


I will keep you in my prayers.

Mountain Mama said...

I'm so sorry. I will certainly keep you in my prayers. You have been through a lot and it's time for some peace and well being!
God bless and heal you.

G~ said...


oh, sweetie! i'm so sorry this is happening. i know how you feel w/that scripture. you take peace from it, but theeennnn....

that's our test, don't you s'pose? that's what i've always thought. here's the promise -- here's the trial... how fully do you believe My promise, child? for whatever reason, sometimes (imho) God uses poor/bad/awful health to build our faith either for our sake or for that of others who are watching our lives.
*shrugs* that's just my take on it.

you are in my prayers, dear one. know that for certain.

may God pour peace on your soul, joy on your life, content on your mind and healing on your body.

in Jesus--amen!

i love you bunches!

fear not!
THIS IS FROM MEEEE!!! g~ (dumb ol' google/blogger won't take my password and this thing won't let me comment as "other"!!! it hates me!)

Dave said...

Praying for you.

jazzycat said...

I have seen some of your comments over at Gayla's blog. Since I flew the C-130's many years ago, I thought I would say hi. I will also keep you in my prayers.

~Jennifer said...

Oh my! I see that since you wrote this you say your spirits are lifting, and I feel relieved to hear that, but I can just imagine how something like this would affect me, and I'm empathizing strongly. Praying for you.

Pilot Mom said...

Thank you for praying, Everyone! I can honestly say I am at peace regarding the whole stroke thing. I have no idea what is ahead of me in the future but then none of does, right? So we trust and step out in faith. I think it's John Blanchard who said, "Walking by faith means being prepared to trust where we are not permitted to see."

Jazzycat, welcome my friend. I hope you will drop in often and hopefully, you will leave refreshed! :)