Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Latest on Pilot Dad...

Here is the very latest news on Pilot Dad. We had an appointment with his radiologist today for a followup from about 10 or 12 days ago. Since then he has lost another 8 pounds. :( The infection is still ongoing. His oncologist ordered more blood work including a re-do of his calcium since that came back high. Tomorrow PD will go in to see his oncologist at 10:30 for a fungal and aerobic bacteria swab of the throat and mouth. Also the radiologist ordered blood cultures done today at the same time as the other blood work. Most of this we won't know anything for about a week.

The radiologist is beginning to think that maybe it is a deep tissue infection. She isn't sure if we should do another CT scan and compare it with the last one 3 weeks ago or would having a MRI be a better thing to do. She will be talking with the oncologist this evening and making a determination about that.

If it is a deep tissue infection then maybe iv's would be the way to go since the oral antibiotics do not seem to be touching all. If they cannot figure out why he is so sick then he will be sent to an infectious disease doctor. His radiologist was kind enough to write to a note to his work explaining he cannot come back to work while he has this unidentified disease. She also didn't want him expending any more calories by working when he needs to be keeping the calories to put on weight. He seems to be losing the battle for weight gain. :( His wedding ring fell off the other day. :( He now weighs less than when we married.

As you go about your days would you lift PD before the throne grace whenever the Lord might bring him to mind? It would be greatly appreciated. Pray for the doctors to have wisdom, discernment, and attention to little details which may be of significance. Pray for PD to begin to gain weight, to stop running a fever, and begin to feel better. Pray for patience for me, that I not grow weary, and that I remain focused on the Lord's faithfulness, grace and mercy.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Update on Pilot Dad

As many of you know, Pilot Dad has not been feeling well since the end of August. We, being the medical experts that we are, thought it was thrush because of the coating on his tongue. He has had it several times throughout this ordeal known as throat cancer. He looked on his pill bottle and he still had a refill left so he got his antibiotic refilled. Normally after just a day or two of taking his antibiotic he would begin to feel much better of the thrush. But he still felt bad along with an awful taste in his mouth. In fact, he would go so far as to tell you this is the worst he has felt in all of the cancer treatment. I'm talking physically...the fatigue and general feeling of "ick" and "yucky" and to be more precise, to quote him exactly, "extremely crappy." (He is not including the pain stuff in this assessment.)

I called the radiology doctor this morning to see when we could get him in to be seen. After all, he still had the white "stuff" on his tongue and the terribly foul taste in his mouth, not to mention the extreme fatigue. How I praised the Lord because they put him in at the end of the day...but it was still today! He didn't have to wait until tomorrow!

She checks him out and tells him that she does not think he has thrush but he still needs to finish that antibiotic for the thrush. It is her thought that he has some kind of bacterial infection, hence the awful foul taste in his mouth and the general feeling of malaise. So she prescribed a different antibiotic to begin taking twice a day (amoxicillian). Hopefully this will get him back to liking the taste of food once again! And I pray he will gain some of his strength back so he can work more than his 4 hours a night. He will go back to see her two weeks from today.

We have been quite surprised because they had been telling us how fast you begin to recover once you can eat, and the radiation stops, etc. One day, all of a sudden he took a bite of something and spit it out because it tasted so awful. Once we get a few of the new antibiotics in him the food should begin to taste better again and I can go back to having a hubby who likes to eat again. I hate eating by myself!!!

I'll be blogging a little less today and tomorrow (Thursday & Friday) because we are getting new windows installed in our home! Yea!! This is the last major renovation for our home. We are done. Kaput. FINALLY!!! So, I'll be on, "lurking," and I may or may not post. I'm just pleased that our weather is going to be great for window installation. Yesterday and the day before we have had quite the storminess in our area which included flooding and trees being uprooted and, of course, the proverbial roof being torn off, and let's not forget the house struck by lightning which caused a fire! And over 50,000 homes without power! But tomorrow will be sunny and in the 70º's! You can't ask for nicer weather than that!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Conversation regarding death...

I had a discussion last week with several people. It began by an innocent comment involving the timing of a person's death. Now, I don't mean to step on anyone's toes at all. That is not my intention. The woman who made the surprising comment is a godly woman who I admire greatly and respect her even more. It had never dawned on me that she held this particular viewpoint. What is it you ask?!

The comment which had been made was, "Well, if our son were to die over in Iraq then I know that he would have died that same moment here at home. The Lord would have just used a different medium to accomplish His desired will." My friend then responded, "Well, God knows when you are going to die but I don't believe He has planned it. Since He knows the beginning from the end He knows when you are going to die."

I asked her if she had any Biblical support to back up her reasoning. She never really shared any, other than she did mention Hezekiah asking the Lord for 15 more years at the time of his near death. Of course, I had intended to use Hezekiah for one of my sources. :) (2 Kings 20:5-6)

I thought for a minute as other people were throwing out questions. Then I shared, "It seems to me that God Who, according to Acts, has "determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live," [Acts 17:26 NIV] would be in control of the times people die. Furthermore, I do believe that in Psalm 139: 16 it states very clearly, "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." I went on and shared that God is so precise to know the number of the hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30) why wouldn't he also determine the day of your death?

The more I thought about it the more convinced I became. After all, God is not a god of confusion. Why would He be so careful about where you live, how many hairs He places on your head but not care about the detail of your death? Finally I thought, "God planned His own Son's birth thousands of years before He was ever born and prophesied when that would be. He also planned His exact hour of death. If God planned His birth and death why wouldn't He plan our births and deaths? Ours just aren't prophesied like Jesus' was."

I guess the above is why I believe that it isn't cancer that kills someone, nor is it a car crash, or war or any other act that is so often associated with death. When a person dies it is their appointment with God. God may have used the car crash, or the cancer or the "whatever" to accomplish His divine will, but He alone is the one who calls us before Him.

That for me, brings such comfort. However, I can understand why some people may not be so comforted with these thoughts. Hebrews 9:27 makes it very clear that it "is appointed to man to die once and then comes judgment..." My friend, if you are one who has not trusted Christ for your future won't you please do it now?

Monday, August 20, 2007

Cancer's Unexpected Blessings...

Cancer's Unexpected Blessings

When you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change.
Tony Snow

July 20, 2007

Commentator and broadcaster Tony Snow announced that he had colon cancer in
2005. Following surgery and chemo-therapy, Snow joined the Bush
administration in April 2006 as press secretary. Unfortunately, on March 23
Snow, 51, a husband and father of three, announced that the cancer had
recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen-leading to surgery in April,
followed by more chemotherapy. Snow went back to work in the White House
Briefing Room on May 30. CT asked Snow what spiritual lessons he has been
learning through the ordeal.

Blessings arrive in unexpected packages--in my case, cancer.
Those of us with potentially fatal diseases--and there are millions in
America today--find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our
mortality while trying to fathom God's will. Although it would be the
height of presumption to declare with confidence what it all means, Scripture
provides powerful hints and consolations.

The first is that we shouldn't spend too much time trying to answer the why
questions: Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can't someone else get sick?
We can't answer such things, and the questions themselves often are
designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer.

I don't know why I have cancer, and I don't much care. It is what it is--a
plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly,
great and stunning truths begin to take shape. Our maladies define a
central feature of our existence: We are fallen. We are imperfect. Our bodies give

But despite this--because of it--God offers the possibility of salvation and
grace. We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to
choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our
Creator face-to-face.

Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying can send
adrenaline flooding through your system. A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes
you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of nothingness and
swoon. You fear partings; you worry about the impact on family and friends. You
fidget and get nowhere.

To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into
life--and that the journey continues after we have finished our days on this
earth. We accept this on faith, but that faith is nourished by a conviction
that stirs even within many nonbelieving hearts--an intuition that the gift
of life, once given, cannot be taken away. Those who have been stricken
enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight with their might, mind,
and faith to live--fully, richly, exuberantly--no matter how their days may
be numbered.

Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want
lives of simple, predictable ease--smooth, even trails as far as the eye can
see--but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He
places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance and
comprehension--and yet don't. By His love and grace, we persevere. The
challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably
strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not
experience otherwise.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Answered Prayer

Well, our cooler is working again. Praise the Lord! I saw on one of the thermometers it was 105º F this afternoon. I was running any kind of errand I could think of so I wasn't in the hot house. What was the problem? We don't know. The circuit breakers or whatever it is on the fuse box all checked out perfect. I've laid down the law...if it acts up one more time...we. are. getting. a. new. cooler. Period!!! We aren't even in our normal time of triple digit temps yet.

So praise the Lord for His mercy in allowing the cooler to once again come on after dinking with it. I praise the Lord for the "investment" of numerous fans over the last several years. Downstairs, with the fans going, and one doesn't move much, it is significantly bearable without being too hot.

Jim went to church...nauseated, hurting, etc but it was good. He sat out in the foyer, on the couch, so he could get up and go spit etc as needed without disturbing anyone. One of the blessings about being in the Lord's house is we have a new air conditioning system in our church because we have a new church building. We had our first service in it back in March. It was a long time in coming but it was fabulous to finally be through with construction so we could worship in it.

He is not talking very much at all. Hurts too bad. The pain medication is being consumed again, right on time. :)

I guess that's about all for our day here. We are going to hit the bed early tonight so we can get up and get busy in the morning. Well, technically, that is so I can get busy in the morning. LOL!

Blessings to all! Thank you, Pilgrim Pals for all your prayers! And, thank you to everyone else who has been faithful to pray! Especially our family!!!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Only 3 more treatments!!!

This will be a very short post because I awoke this morning sicker than dog. (No offense to the dog world.) But of all the days to be sick...I couldn't believe it. We had a window man scheduled to come out to give us a bid which had to be canceled. Then, our furniture was due to arrive this afternoon and it did!! Pics will have to follow after I feel better. But PD had to take care of all that. Our good friend C drove him to his radiation treatment and will again if she is needed tomorrow. However, I am desperately praying that I will feel 100% better!

He only has 3 more treatments!!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Only 4 more treatments left!!!

My prayer partner and I planned on getting together this evening for prayer and dinner. Actually we planned on it yesterday but a friend of ours whose husband is out of town asked to join us for dinner. That was okay because we had already set aside tonight too so we just decided that we would pray later this afternoon over an early dinner.

Again I am reminded to be 'flexible' when making plans. Right before C had called to tell me she was on her way, I received a phone call from an elderly widowed friend who is recently back in town, now to stay. It was her daughter and husband's anniversary today and they were off celebrating. She called to see how Pilot Dad is doing as well as myself. During our conversation she asked if we could go out to dinner tonight. I told her I would call her back and let her know.

Then the phone rang and it was C telling me she was on her way. I explained the situation, how my heart had been moved to include her in our dinner plans. We could still pray etc...So we decided to pray first then pick up S and we thought of another elderly widow, D, to invite. So I called S back and told her that C's husband was out of town too and, what would she think about inviting D along too? She was delighted with the whole idea! Well, it turns out it is going to be her birthday on Friday! So the two 70+ year olds and the 50+ year old women had a delightful dinner this evening.

I have to remind myself to remain flexible to God's leading and direction. I should not be rigid in my scheduling of my day but allow the Lord to direct my steps for His purpose. Two ladies were lifted up and encouraged this evening by the fellowship of two other ladies who were delighted to sit and listen to them share what was on their hearts and minds.

Now, I am off to bed. I do not want to be awakened in the middle of the night like last night. I want to sleep through until it is time to arise and face a new day...truly a gift from the Lord! :D

Only 5 more treatments!

Good morning, everyone! How did you all sleep? Well, I hope! It is quiet this morning. I awoke at 4 am and haven't been able to get back to sleep...yet. I kind of thought this pattern of mine had actually ceased but I see it hasn't totally gone. Do you realize that Pilot Dad has been off work for 3 months, 1 week and 2 days? That staggers my mind when I think of the time like that. In all that time he went in for 1 day of work. My starting point for all this was April 16th which was the day of his first surgery. And now, IT. IS. ALMOST. OVER!!!!!

The other countdown which we are experiencing is the date Pilot will arrive home for a short visit!! Only 17 more days! Pilot Dad's last day of radiation is July 17th and beginning today we only have 17 more days until we see PILOT!!! No wonder I am unable to sleep!! The thoughts just keep exploding in my mind, so full of joy and happiness, excitement, and did I mention JOY?!!!

Well, it's now about 5:30 am and if I want to be able to get through my day I need to go back to sleep for a short while. See you later!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Only SIX more treatments!!!!

A week from tomorrow (Tuesday) will be our last treatment!! If it is possible for 2 over 50 adults who are so tired and slow, we would almost be giddy! ;)

I'm listening to Pilot Dad as he composes a new arrangement of music on the keyboard. He plays by ear and "tries" to learn the notes but he sits and it just flows. The tune he was "composing" is so mellow and restful. Just what I need today.

Besides our heat hovering at 100º F or above we are having to deal with so many fires. The biggest one which has closed our major north/south freeway has now become the largest fire we have ever experienced in our state. So far, it has scorched 300,000 acres. They have had to close our freeway several times since it has jumped the road so often. We are even experiencing the gray haze of smoke in SLC. The last I had heard it was still 0% contained. It has affected us asthma sufferers something terrible. The fire began Friday from a lightening bolt.

All of this reminds me of an illustration I heard a number of years ago about surviving God's wrath. In the olden days when people traveled across our country by wagon they were sometimes confronted by a raging fire. The way they would combat the fire was to burn a large area themselves. Once the area burned is large enough and is doused out the family would go huddle in the center of their burned out area. The fire would burn up to their burned out area and then go around it, not touching the people in the protected already burned area.

Can you envision that same idea with the cross, with the blood from passover? We stand in His blood, claiming it for us, God's rage will pass around/over us since we are protected by His already spilled blood.

Colossians 4:2, "Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it [prayer] with an attitude of thanksgiving..."

Thursday, June 21, 2007

My Honey!! :D

My honey is home! I'm so glad. :D He is still pretty sore and won't be going to radiation today. He isn't able to stretch out far enough on the table for his treatment. So tomorrow he will go and try it.

We are waiting to hear from the home health nurse today so we can find out how to use it. It does look pretty simple so I don't think it's any big deal.

I have a cd playing old favorite hymns while I pick up and straighten up. The clutter is beginning to derail me and I can't have that!! After all, I just got it all cleaned up not too long ago!

Have a superb day, everyone! May you constantly be aware of His great blessings all around...even the smallest. Would you take a moment and thank Him for something that He brought your way today? Just a reminder...that "something" could be something which we think is a "negative" rather than a "positive." But when it comes from God, it is always a positive! So thank Him and give Him all praise, glory and honor today!! I know I am!!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

It's done....

I just arrived home, feeding the dog as I came in through the door. A long day and longer still as I have two loads of laundry to do before going to bed tonight. However, Pilot Dad came through the insertion of the feeding tube superbly. He wasn't feeling "superbly" when I left as the morphine had not kicked in. Whatever they used to numb the abdomen began wearing off late this afternoon. That produced cramping in the abdomen area at the point of insertion. Me thinks the body likes to reject foreign objects. ;) Seriously, he was hurting but had managed to eat (by mouth) 1 small bowl of jello, 1 bowl of beef broth, and 1 small carton of apple juice was downed. Tomorrow we will get instructions on how to use it etc. He is glad he is staying overnight since the pain began. The convenience of the nurse just putting the morphine directly into his IV line is wonderful. (And I am not having to do it!) ;)

Thank you for all your prayers. Knowing that people are before His throne of grace on our behalf warms us all over. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Prayer request...

Pilot Dad is being admitted to the hospital tomorrow (Wednesday) at 9:00 am for a feeding tube to be inserted. It is required for him to stay overnight to make sure there are not any complications. He will undergo anesthesia so prayer is requested for no complications to arise with that. And for a safe and normal procedure to take place. Thank you for your faithfulness in praying.

We are reminding ourselves when we can't, He can!!!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Thanking the Lord....

We had a great weekend. Filled with fellowship. Friday we went out to eat with friends and then on to an open house for dear friends of ours who have been medical missionaries in Nigeria for the last 20 years with Campus Crusade for Christ. They are now moving to Rochester, Minnesota where he will practice at the Mayo Clinic. He will also continue his research work into rickets.

Saturday we went down to our friends in Orem and were going to go on a picnic up in the canyon. However, our temperature was 100º F and the heat zaps any strength out of Pilot Dad so everyone opted for a picnic indoors where we could enjoy good old central air conditioning. :)

Then for Father's Day we went over to our best friend's home and celebrated the day together. Their daughter H's husband is in Afghanistan, so she was there with her two children, their other daughter, G, was there and then us. It was a great meal. Teriyaki chicken done on the grill, fruit salad, a jello salad with "frosting" (whipped cream), corn on the cob and homemade ice cream for dessert!! I am praising God for good food which nourishes our bodies.

We have found that Pilot Dad does better on his eating in a social situation. He picks and eats but manages to get some food down while everyone is visiting. This weekend the winners were the corn on the cob and watermelon. :) However, as the doctor reminded us today, they have no calories and no protein.
I praise the Lord for good friends who help us get through the tough times.

Speaking of the radiation visit today...we saw the doctor after PD had weighed. :( He has lost 10 pounds since last Monday. The doctor was not happy with PD...well, she was not happy about the loss of weight. PD feels so bad about not being able to force himself to eat. He thinks he is "woosing out" but I tried and the doctor tried telling him that there is nothing wrong with going with the feeding tube. My thoughts are praising the Lord we have such things in this day and age. It wasn't too long ago where feeding tubes didn't exist. So, Wednesday morning is the big day. After inserting, he cannot use it for 24 hours. We will be set up with a home health nurse who will come and teach us how to use it and will bring him the supplies needed.
I praise God for the medical advances we have at our disposal in this day and age.

This morning was a good morning to trim the bushes and trees out back. One of our pastor's sons offered to come over when we were visiting Friday night. His wife was at work and he had the day off so his help was greatly appreciated. Jim "supervised" and Jesse did the work and climbed up on the ladder etc. They almost finished but J will come back next week and finish up.
I am praising the Lord for His continued blessings when we are in need.

"Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord GOD is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places" (Habakkuk 3:18-19).

Thursday, June 14, 2007

A slow day...

Today has been a day for sitting on the front porch, holding hands and watching the world go by. The flag was gently blowing in the breeze and the birds were making melodies. A good day to sit back and take it easy.

Pilot Dad has had a rough two days. He did not go into work the last two nights. Tonight he will not go either. The good thing is they started him on liquid Lortab and a wonderful "Magic Mixer." It's a "cocktail" of three main narcotics and some other stuff which he can use every 4 hours, either by swishing, gargling or swallowing. It is supposed to work wonders according to other patients. Hopefully, this will provide a better night of sleeping.

The painting is beginning to move into the kitchen/family room area. We come and go and each time he has accomplished more and more. I LOVE the color! Now I am just eager to get finished with everything. Patience, patience, patience!

This looking down the hallway, toward the bedrooms, from the kitchen/family room area. The lighting isn't the best but hopefully you can see the greenish tint of the walls.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Moving forward...

I'm back!!! I apologize for my previous outbursts. Obviously I had taken my eyes off Jesus. You know, it really is ugly when it's all about me rather than HIM.

First off, we talked to the doctor on Monday (yesterday) and she is more than willing to write a letter telling the workplace that he will be back to work full time after about 2-3 weeks from his last radiation treatment. That will give him time to recoup some of his strength and energy before beginning work again.

Let's see, we noticed this morning that there are several small round patches on his face where he has lost his beard. They are not the size of a dime but almost. I imagine those will only get bigger. The doctors tell us that the "usual" time frame for symptoms to show up is around 2 weeks into treatment. Well, just for general info to anyone who might be getting ready to begin radiation treatment, don't be surprised if you begin earlier than 2 weeks, and conversely, don't be surprised if you make it to the third week. Everyone is different. Pilot Dad experienced nausea by his third treatment, the thick mucousy 'stuff' began earlier than 2 weeks, etc.

Besides the hair loss he has sores on his tongue which is caused my his taste buds trying to work over hard to do their job but the radiation is messing with them. His taste buds are changing. They had said that he might first think everything tastes sweet, then sour and finally, everything will taste like cardboard. Most things, especially water, is tasting metallic to him.

For the mucousy 'stuff' gargling with 1 tsp of salt, and 1 tsp of baking soda in 1 pint of water (16 oz) is crucial. It cuts the mucous quite well for a little while. He can swallow it and it doesn't taste awful and it doesn't mess up his internal system, or he can just gargle it. He is gargling quite often but it brings relief from the thick stuff. He is making up a jar to take to work to have on hand.

He still hasn't come up with the best way to sleep. The problem again is the mucous. If he sleeps on his back (or his side) he eventually awakes choking on the thick stuff. He usually gets up and gargles even though it disrupts his sleep but the relief brought on by the gargling is so good it is worth it.

Let's see what else is going on...hmmmm, his nausea is being controlled by medication so that isn't a problem now. I told you about the sores on his tongue but there are bright red spots covering the roof of his mouth and going down his throat. He is still making a valiant effort with his eating but we have bought a supply of Ensure to help boost what he may not be getting. We have ordered our Champion Juicer (Commercial grade) on line and it should be arriving by the end of the week. He is visibly wincing when he swallows so I think by Friday he will begin the pain medications.

We had a WONDERFUL weekend!!! How I praise the Lord for that! Jim managed to mow the yard on Saturday and plans to continue as long as he is able. We have lined up one of the teenage boys at church to come and do it once Jim is not able. (This is where we miss having Pilot at home!!! He was always so good to step in and do whatever needed to be done when his dad has been incapacitated.) We also ate Sunday dinner over at the parents of Pilot's girlfriend. Such a lovely meal out in their beautiful backyard under their pavilion. Warm and sunny with just the slightest breeze to keep us from being too hot.

One of the blessings which I have come to appreciate is the extra time Pilot Dad and I have been able to spend together. It has caused us to slow down and smell the roses! We are in the midst of redoing our home. We decided PD had to conserve his energy so we hired a pastor friend to do the painting. The flooring and counter tops should be ready to go in sometime toward the end of next week. The carpet has been ordered and should arrive in about 2 weeks and then all that will be left is to have the new furniture delivered. This all began before we ever knew it was cancer so we have explained the situation to everyone and they have been really great to work with us.

Oh my goodness! This has become quite the missive!! If you have persevered this far in reading then I salute you!! :)

Psalm 31

In You, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be ashamed; in Your rightousness deliver me...For You are my rock and my fortress; for Your name's sake You will lead me and guide me...Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have ransomed me, O LORD, God of truth...I will be glad and rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul...But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD, I say, "You are my God." My times are in Your hand...Make Your face to shine upon Your servant; save me in Your lovingkindness...How great is Your goodness, which You have stored up for those who fear You, which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You, before the sons of men!...Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the LORD.

Friday, June 08, 2007


I am so naive...dense...obtuse...

Me: Have you talked to anyone about getting an advance on your sick leave?

PD: Yes. You have to be able to pay it back.

Me: Yes.

PD: Well, the doctor isn't willing to write that guarantee at this time.

Me: *Confused* What do you mean?

PD: Not if I DIE.

Me: *Aghast* Eyes growing huge* Oh my goodness! I thought you meant you had to be able to pay it back financially.

PD: Well, yes. Financially, meaning that I am alive to work. And the doctors don't know at this point what my outcome will be.

Me: *shoulders sagging* Oh.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

His Mercies Are New Every Morning...

As usual everything always looks better in the morning! Praise the Lord for that! It is abundantly clear to both of us that Pilot Dad must get his rest/be rested. Otherwise, everything else is just compounded.

We both went to bed early...soon after 9 pm and slept wonderfully. God provided rain throughout the night which made our sleeping extra good! ;)

My heart is rejoicing today. Even though it is raining the Son is shining!

"Be anxious [pulled in different is a command in the original Greek!!] for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

My focal point is the Lord. I petition the Lord. My prayer is bathed in adoration and appreciation. Thank you, Lord Jesus!

"The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I have hope in Him'" (Lamentations 3:22-24).

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


I needed this reminder today of the beauty of God's world. We have had a terrific south wind blowing all day (41 mph) which has made me on edge. Well, to be honest, it isn't the wind which has me on edge but the wind did not help any.

"The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and He knows them that trust in Him" (Nahum 1:7).

I have to admit that I am scared. Oh, I have had my "what ifs" which float around, come in and go out, but I really haven't felt any fear. Until today. Pilot Dad has experienced the thickening of his saliva, a sore throat, tenderness in his cheek, nausea, and fatigue. All today. He hasn't slept well and will not go into work tonight. My problem is I cannot fathom week 4...week 5...week 6. How do I keep from jumping ahead rather than dealing with the here and now? My heart breaks to see him like this now...what will I be like at week 6? Focus Claire. "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).

"He restores my soul" (Psalm23:3). Literally in the Hebrew: He restores my LIFE.

"For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect" (Psalm 18:31-32).

"The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; indeed, my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the LORD continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely" (Psalm 16:5-9).

I firmly believe that we humans find security in planning and knowing the future. But that isn't what God tells us to do. He says, "Just trust me." No matter what. No matter what things seem like. No matter what the situation is looking like, no matter what one's most trusted friend says, God says to 'trust Him.' I need to remind myself that I have formed a partnership with God and that makes us ONE.


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A FABULOUS Vacation!!!

A grand time was had by all! Pilot Dad was able to relax, sleep a lot, eat a ton of great food, relax some more, and play with all the kids. Our first morning there we didn't wake up until almost noon!! Once we arrived the stress began melting away. I don't think Pilot Dad was able to fully divest himself of what is ahead of him but he didn't dwell on it nearly as much as if he had been home. And for me, I was able to put it out of mind most of the time. That's because I was so busy sleeping late, eating, holding a month old baby whenever possible, playing with the kids and taking pics!

One day, I went with my brother-in-law, and my niece's husband, and the two youngest boys, Caleb and Jonathan, to see the World War II monument. It was a beautiful day to go; not to hot and not to cold. It was hot enough that two little boys found a delightful way to cool off with the water fountains. ;)

Of course, there was plenty of time at home. There were some scary times as we had to ward off robbers until the good guys could show up to rescue us!

Then there was the princess who had two stalwart knights to protect her!

We enjoyed an afternoon play put on by the neighborhood kids. It was written and directed by one of the young girls who lives on their cul-de-sac. It involved a poor man named Alfredo (played by Nathan) who comes up with a brilliant idea that earns him a check for $1,000,000.00 given by Mr. Moneyrich (played by Luke). Caleb and Jonathan were musicians and Anna, bless her heart, was just along for the ride! :)

(The Cast)

Then Friday arrived! We had been praying, praying, praying that Pilot would land in time to join us. With Air Force precision he landed at 1:30 pm and had his debriefing, then rushed to his apartment to shower and pack, then Sarah, arrived to pick him up for their drive from NC to DC. At 10:00 pm there was a knock on the door and they had arrived, safe and sound!! The next day began a whirlwind of activity which included a mean game of basketball (with some double teaming), games of Cribbage, Pinochole, Balderdash, movie watching (The Rookie) and, of course, watching the Utah Jazz in the play offs.

We even squeezed in time for a belated birthday celcbration and a belated Masters graduation!

Then, as if that wasn't enough, there was Anna to laugh over as she perfected her walking. And there was Grace to coo over as she began to lose her new born look.

So as you can see we managed to pack a lot of fun into our short visit. It was filled with lots of laughter and smiles. And, I have to say, Sarah (Sawah, as Jonathan would say) fit in perfectly. The boys LOVED her and were quite sad that she had to leave with Pilot late Monday afternoon.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Answered prayer....

Thanks for praying everyone! Pilot and Sarah arrived at 10 pm last night! I received a phone call around 3 pm informing me he was back on US soil and within driving distance. Now forgive me but I have some celebrating to engage in for the next few days! :D

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Psalm 199:17

I've decided on a verse to cling to while I am "growing" through this time of multiple strokes. It is Pslam 119:17, "Deal bountifully with Your servant, that I may live and keep Your Word."

My first prayer was for the Lord to obviously stop causing the strokes totally. Then, I thought about how the BIG one is supposed to follow shortly after the small ones. Of course, that brought up all sorts of images to my mind, made even more vivid by what I went through 5 years ago. So then I prayed that if the Lord did allow a major stroke through His hands to my body then my heart's desire is for Him to make it a BIG enough one to take me home. I don't want to be left here not able to function, nor do I want hubby to have to take care of me. Now, I realize that is totally selfish on my part, and probably totally fear filled also.

I went to the Lord and asked Him to show me what perspective I should have on dealing with this whole issue. I looked at the Psalms. I combed through His Word. I poured over different passages that would pertain but it wasn't until I was walking into church this morning when my dear friend, my pastor's wife, said to me, "Thank you for your email. The very first thing which popped into my mind was Pslam 119:17."

I thought about the verse all day. I meditated on it. I chewed on it. I allowed it to permeate my mind. It soaked into the very fibers of my being. The long and short of it is that now, instead of being afraid and desiring to check out if anything "bad" happens to me, (really, what can be bad if He is to bring good out of it?) I've decided to cling to this verse. And, no matter what He allows to pass through His hands I want to live and keep His Word. That is my heart's desire. And, I will continually remember that He is with always......

Sunday, February 25, 2007

A Stroke...

Friday, I was thrown a bombshell by something which occured on Tuesday, the 20th. Friday morning I looked at the all familiar verses in Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious for about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I read those verses and thought to myself, "Wow, for once I can honestly say I am not anxious about anything. I'm beginning to get well, my Mom is with the Lord, everything is going great with Pilot, yada, yada, yada."
Fast forward a few hours and I'm sitting in the doctor's office getting checked out for my right arm and hand "going to sleep." You know, that tingling feeling where you shake your arm or hand and normal feeling resumes. In my case "normal" didn't resume, and still hasn't fully.
I begin telling the doctor what happened and why I think it may be diabetic related, or possibly a pinched nerve, etc... He checks me out and then drops the bomb, "I think you have had a small stroke."
My first thought, "What a difference a couple of hours make."
My second thought which I verbalized, "But I felt this, whereas with my other two strokes I didn't feel pain, no discomfort etc, I just couldn't get my arm and hand to do what my brain was telling it to do. I did/do have hypersensitivity after the strokes, but not while the strokes were happening." Let me explain so others can know, you may or may not experience sensations when you are experiencing a stroke. I guess that is why they have those letters behind their names, M.D. I don't have those letters.
I felt/feel like a walking time bomb, just waiting to go off. There really isn't anything I can do. Well, yes, I can eat right and exercise, etc but, let's get real here. If a blog clot decides to break off and float along, I have no control over that! None!
They say if you have had a small stroke you can expect a big one to follow shortly after. Of course, the longer you go without experiencing a big one the chances begin to diminish somewhat. It has been five years since my last one. Now, I go through the waiting cycle again. That's where one feels like anything could happen.
I have hung on to the Philippians verses like a life line. And there are others which are enabling me to feel more stable, not so "tossed" to and fro. I know that He desires the very best for me and if that equates to having another stroke...then so be it. I will "dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust" (Ps. 91:1-2). "I lift up my eyes to the hills---where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth" (Ps. 121-2).
"Look upon my suffering and deliver me, for I have not forgotten you law. Defend my cause and redeem me; preserve my life according to your promise" (Ps. 119:153-154).
Regardless of what He has in store for me, I pray that He will be glorified. May every thought I think and every word I utter, be edifying to those around me, and honoring to Him in all ways. I trust Him when I am fearful. I rest in Him for my peace. I delight in Him because He has saved me. ME!!! I cannot fathom it, but I am ever so grateful He did.
In the meantime I, like Paul look to Him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

Saturday, February 17, 2007

I need the quiet...

I'm here and, I suppose, I'm alive. However, I feel nothing remotely similiar to being alive. I am terribly sick and don't seem to be getting any better. The good news is the chest x-ray showed no pnuemonia. It's my asthma and a terrible sinus infection. The good doctor has extended my prednisone treatment, and I am still on antibiotics and my very scheduled doses of my cough syrup with codiene. Thank goodness for meds! ;) I'm in bed, except for when I eat, then I come to the table. Dear hubby has been an angel! I don't know what I would have done without him.

Consequently, I feel like everything will be exactly the same when my sister and her hubby return in March. Oh, I know, in reality, I'll be feeling better soon and then I will become productive again but, right now, I cannot even imagine it. I remind myself of my dear mother. When she broke her pelvic bone in the three places, the nurses would come in to assess her pain. Well, she quickly discovered if she didn't move, at all, she had no pain; and that is what she told the nurses, "No, I'm not in any pain." I'm exactly the same way with my cough. As long as I don't move, I don't cough...well, most times, that is. Lol!

So here I lay with a gigantic mess all around me. It just goes to show that God's ways are infinitely above our ways. There is an old poem I came in contact with many years ago. Every so often it's truths reach out and touch me.

It is written by Alice Hansche Mortenson and is called I Needed the Quiet. Enjoy!

I needed the quiet so He drew me aside.
Into the shadows where we could confide.
Away from the bustle where all the day long
I hurried and worried when active and strong.

I needed the quiet tho at first I rebelled
But gently, so gently, my cross He upheld
And whispered so sweetly of spiritual things
Tho weakened in body, my spirit took wings
To heights never dreamed of when active and gay.
He loved me so greatly He drew me away.

I needed the quiet. No prison my bed,
But a beautiful valley of blessings instead--
A place to grow richer in Jesus to hide.
I needed the quiet so He drew me aside.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

A Difficult Day....

My sister and I have spent the entire day going through our mom's closets. We still have another full closet to go of hanging things. My mom never threw away anything that was of good quality. In fact, we came across the dress mom bought after she lost her "baby" weight when I was born! It is still a sharp looking dress without blemish and could be worn today. Some of my friends are going to be quite blessed to have a free shopping day. Alas, neither my sister or I can wear size 6, 8, or 10's. We have set aside a ton of the 6's and P/S's to send to our aunt, my mom's younger sister. She is thrilled to be receiving them.

Marsha and I have done all we can today. It is so difficult to go through all of her newer things. Especially what she had been wearing these last few months. I can only be in her room for a limited amount of time before I have to go out for a break. How I wish she would have let me start going through things at the beginning of last year. Even if she wore a new outfit everyday she still would not have worn everything she had. Incredible.

We are going out to eat again tonight. It proved to be cheaper for Marsha and Vic to fly out on Tuesday rather than this weekend. I'm glad. I can hardly bear thought of them leaving. I do have one friend lined up to come Wednesday afternoon to try on clothes. That will help having a friend in.

I wonder....has she thought about us since she left? Or is she too busy strolling along with her Lord, seeing her family and friends who have gone before her. Has she met up with Paul, or John, or Abraham and Sarah? There really is no hurry, after all, because we have eternity. But I wonder.

Monday will be two weeks. We have been so busy with the lawyer and taxes and the banks etc, I feel like I haven't even mourned. Actually, I guess I really haven't. Tears? Yes, some. More on other days, not as much on some days. Maybe once everyone is gone and it's just Pilot Dad and me left.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

I'm back....

As I have journeyed through this valley with my mom it has become abundantly clear to me that God never intended for us to die. That was a consequence of disobeying Him. Rather, He created us to live. And to live abundantly forever.

Now, even though my mom's physical body/shell has died, she has not. She is continuing to live the life God originally planned for her to live, only now she is in heaven where life is as it was originally intended. One day life will be as it should be for me, too.

As I watched my mom over the last days of her earthly life, I observed how much she fought to live. She did not go easy! :) Nor should she. Life is a gift from God and she fought to maintain it to the very end. For my mom it took a month, well, actually less than a month. The first significant change came January 3, then the next change came on the 10th, followed by another significant change on the 17th. We made a follow-up appointment with her doctor on the 31st of January which she did not make.

My sister and her husband did arrive in time, and Mom did recognize her, even though she never spoke to her. By then Mom was conserving all her energy for only necessary conversation. That was Saturday the 27th. Sunday she was pretty much in a partial coma, very unresponsive except in times of pain, when she would let us know. But Monday...Monday she was totally unresponsive to us. There was no acknowledgement of us just her agonal breathing which she labored through. The hospice nurse arrived a little before 3:00 p.m., shortly after the harpist had left. He stayed until about 3:20 and then left. At 3:45 we called him back, she was with her Lord.

I had been sitting on her bed with her, just like I had done in the care center. I kept touching her, stroking her hands, etc and talking with her. I noticed a change and told my sister, then another change in her breathing, then her color changed and then she exhaled the last time. She was whole.

Oh! What a void she has left for me here at home. My sister and husband will leave this weekend and I freely admit I am dreading it. So much to do, so much to go through. How comforting it is to me to know that He is and will continue to sustain me, to carry me through this time of grief. I know the sun will shine again one day.

After my brother was killed, it took me a long time to grieve. I think because of the horrific circumstances on such a sweet, loving young man. Then, when my dad died, it was such a sudden shock that left me reeling. God was gracious to me in both circumstances. Death seems so final. Doesn't it? Even as a Christian, knowing that death isn't the end, often our hearts lag behind.

Thank goodness, the loss of someone so dear never has to mean the end of abundant, effective, and joyful living for a Christian. Joy and effectiveness may seem to pause for awhile as grief takes its course, but those of us who allow our broken hearts to be bound by Christ will experience them again. My Savior, and your Savior, I pray, is the God of resurrection life, no matter what kind of death has occurred in the life of any believer!

I cannot tell you how many times I sat there beside my mom and wished it was me. Knowing that I would be going through this devastating loss again is shattering but through this time He has given me His power to my life. His power defies all odds. God Himself is the only explanation for my emotional survival and revival. Really, I believe the most profound miracle of all is living through something I thought would literally kill me. Not just living through it, but living through it abundantly and effectively.

No, I will not be the same but for me, as a Christian, my life is never about sameness. It's always about change. That's why it is important to not only survive but to also thrive when change involves heartbreaking loss. I am being conformed to the image of Christ. It is Christ alone who binds and compresses my hurt with His nail-scarred hand. And through this time, He offers me a new life...a far more compassionate life, a wiser life, and I think a more productive one, because of all I have been through on this journey with Him.

Monday, January 29, 2007

With the Lord!!!

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His godly ones. ~ Psalm 116:15

Nana went to be with her Lord at 3:45 p.m. MST. It was peaceful and we were all with her. Thank you for all your love and support and all the prayers which have been lifted up on her behalf over the last several months. You are precious in our sight!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Numb...but not numb enough....

My heart is breaking. Every day brings death/new life closer to my mom. It is so difficult to talk with her now. It's like I'm pulling her back from somewhere far away. Sometimes I am not able to pull her back into reality.

Today, my tears have copiously flowed. I have not been able to stop them. They arise on their own and seem to take a life of their own. My crying has no effect on my mom. Today she is talking much less. And when she does engage in conversation she usually doesn't understand what is being said.

Amiee from hospice called this evening to check up on mom. She is going to talk with the doctor and see if we should begin liquid morphine. Mom has a doctor's appointment next week on Wednesday. I wonder if she will even be around then.

My mom has lived a life of pain most of her adult life. I'm so sorry that she is having to die in pain. My consolation is in the twinkling of an eye when death occurs she will step into life eternal with her Lord and Savior, free of pain for ever more. I have wished on many occasions I could turn the clock back to August 19th, the day before her fall. We had such a good day celebrating her birthday a day early with the ladies from church.

Maybe, in the deep recesses of my heart, I had an inkling that nothing would be the same again. However, I probably kept telling myself, over and over again, that it would still be...alright. And, deep down in the very fiber of my being, I know, that even now, things are alright. In fact, they are nearing perfection for Mom. It's just us who are left behind.

How grateful I am that we have assurance on where Mom will be. That brings a comfort to my heart, but more importantly it brings peace to my soul knowing that my family will all be together again one day. So even in the midst of my tears of grief, there is great rejoicing. Hallelujah! He is Risen! And because of Mom's trust in Him she will be too!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Beginning Hospice...

I do not know where to begin. My emotions are all over the place. So this may be a very disjointed post. Please bear with me.

Maybe I'll begin on Wednesday of this week. Nana has been struggling, actually, ever since my sister arrived Wednesday night. I had taken Nana in for her scheduled doctor's appointment which went fairly well, all things considered. By that I mean she was still experiencing her cough from the bronchitis and was still having some sleep issues. But sometime Wednesday night something "changed."

Marsha and I attributed a lot of the pressure in her chest from the bronchitis but the mental condition made us wonder about a small stroke. Things continued about the same until the next week when another shift "downward" occurs. We call the doctor and talk with him over the phone. His assessment was medication was most likely causing some of the mental issues Nana seemed to be experiencing. One thing which was very noticable was how much Mom was sleeping in her chair and then having periods of time when she was "on," like giving speeches.

Marsha left Tuesday morning and I waited out the 48 hours to see if stopping one med made any difference. If nothing else, Mom was worse. I called the doctor Wednesday morning and they worked her in. The doctor listened and observed her, and listened to her heart and lungs. He looked up and told me that things have changed with her heart. Now, Nana has had a lot wrong with her heart, for many years, but she has managed to just keep on going. She has pulmonary hypertension, four leaky heart valves, regular hypertension, and an irregular heartbeat, etc. Well, her heart is beating so fast the blood isn't able to get to the heart which explains why she is sleeping so much. He looked at me and said with these changes it was truly the beginning of the end. Well, that's how I really had looked at this whole thing ever since her fall in August. I left the doctor's office feeling okay with things. I wasn't overly concerned, at least not any more so than other visits. I dropped off her new Rx to be filled which would help in the discomfort she was feeling with her heart.

When I went to pick up the med I asked the pharmacist if I could give her a dose right then, and then another in the morning with her regular pills. She is supposed to take it once a day. He told me no that I should just wait till morning. I'm okay with that. We head on over to the restaurant to eat an early dinner. Nana LOVES to go out to eat. And the only time we go out anymore is when she is out for an appointment. It's just too much otherwise.

Well, no sooner were we seated in the restaurant I noticed she was shivering. Now, our high temps during the days have been registering around 20 to 22F. But she was not sitting in a cold place and she was shaking all over. Her breathing became even more labored and she had difficulty swallowing. I asked her how she was feeling. She shared how awful she felt, how much she hurt and how cold she was. We got a box to take her food home with us.

After arriving home the caregiver gets her ready for bed and I come in and take her temp. She has a fever between 100º and 101º. We get her into bed, turn on her warming pad and pile blankets on top of her. This is only after 2 hours after seeing the doctor! She was NOT running a fever while in his office. She becomes more agitated because her breathing becomes extremely difficult.

But she keeps saying she has something to say. When I heard that I begin thinking back to my birthday on Friday when she "stood at the podium" and kept telling all of us that she "had something to say", which at that time, did not make much sense to us. But through her struggling breath she finally began sharing how much she has enjoyed living here with Jim and I. How much she loves me (us) etc. She tells me she wants to get through her "good-bye" before her breath runs out. I begin to grasp (after she spelled it out so very clearly DUH!) that she is telling us goodbye.

She is not afraid to die. Not at all. She is ready. At one point when we were praying with her, she reached out her hand and said, "Come Jesus, take my hand, I'm ready...please, take my hand, Jesus." My dearest friend came over and Jim, C and I sang hymns to her and talked with her and sang more of her favorite hymns. When her breathing got so bad, and the pain had increased so greatly, I remembered the new pill and went running to get it. I brought it back and gave it to her, thinking to myself, "I'll just talk to the doctor in the morning and he will tell me when to give it to her next." After awhile she began to breathe a little easier.

She has talked a lot about the group of people/men who have been in her room. I asked her if they were singing to her thinking that she was confused and maybe was thinking of the carolers who had come into her room Christmas eve. "Oh no," she replied. I thought about it for a few minutes and then I said, "Mom, maybe they are part of the "great cloud of witnesses which Hebrews talks about." She looked surprised and then smiled and said, "Oh, maybe so!" As she continued to talk about them off and on throughout the evening I also suggested that they were angels making preparations for her.

It goes without saying that I cried copious tears throughout the evening as she continually hugged and kissed me, telling me how much she loved me. As I fell into bed about 3 a.m. I thought I could not go through such an emotional thing each and every night. My prayers were for myself at first. Slowly as I relaxed, I felt peace and contentment encase my every fiber. I woke up several times but each time I felt comforted and was able to go back to sleep. My mom, however, didn't sleep at all until about 5 a.m. at which time she slept for about 45 minutes.

Thursday continued to be a difficult day for her with pain and discomfort. When I talked to the doctor Thursday morning he told me the fever went along with her blood count which was elevated. He then told me he thought she was ready for hospice.

Today was the day to meet the hospice people. They were so very nice. Very caring and concerned people. I moved through my day with them with joy. I know it was/is the Lord equiping me in each situation. The hospice people couldn't get over how well cared for Mom is and my tenderness with her. After dinner and before we left for Bible study I sat down and explained to Mom that hospice had been called in. She asked questions, mainly about the "symptoms" she is experiencing and why she is. I explained what was going on in her body and how her heart was affecting different things. I also shared that just because hospice has been called in that doesn't mean that she is going to die within the hour, or in the next day or two. It may not happen for several weeks, even several months, reiterating how it is the Lord who determined our days way before we were ever born. I told her that hospice, the care givers and Jim and I were here to make her as comfortable as possible in the time she has left. I even shared about the gal who will bring her harp every week and play for her!! Isn't that the coolest?

When I got through I turned to go into the kitchen and the gal, Nichole, who was the caregiver, had tears running down her face. She said to me, "This probably isn't the correct thing to do, but would you mind if I hugged you? I cannot believe how well you stated everything to your mother and without crying!"

Now, I'm back from about a two hour break because I needed to sit with mom. Another difficult time. Again, tonight, we have a new care giver who kept telling me what a blessing I am to my mother. She kept saying some other things but I couldn't understand all she said. She is from Portugal.

I love to see how the Lord is working throughout my mom's illness. Since she is close to dying, it has allowed my sister and her husband to have spiritual conversations with a foreign friend, and with the care giver tonight I mentioned my brother who had Downs. Come to find out, her youngest child, a little girl named Patricia, who is four years old, is also a Downs. He continually connects us to other people who have a need for Him. I love how personally He deals with each individual's situation, tailoring the fit perfectly.

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledg of God! How unsearchable are His dudgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the LORD, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen." ~ Romans 11:33-36.

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not desparing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7-11

"I have been reflecting on the inestimable value of "broken things." Broken pitchers gave ample light for victory (Judges 7:19-21); broken bread was more than enough for all the hungry (Matthew 14:19-21); a broken box gave fragrance to all the world (Mark 14:3, 9); and a broken body is salvation to all who believe and receive the Savior (Isaiah 53:5-6, 12; 1 Corinthians 11:24). And what cannot the Broken One do with our broken plans, projects, and hearts? ~ V. Raymond Edman

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Prayer request...

If the Lord brings me and my family to your mind would you take a moment and pray? Hospice is being called in for my precious Mom. The time is drawing to a close. Of course, no one knows when the time will be, whether it is sooner rather than later, except for Him alone.

I prayed last night that her hearts desire to go to Him, and His timing of the end of her days, will come into perfect alignment in His perfect will.

That's all I'll share for now. Thank you dear Friends.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

One of those days...

Do you ever experience "one of those days?" That's me today...floundering around on my back while everything around me spins out of control. Thankfully, I have HIM who is always in control. When I am not, He is! Posted by Picasa