Saturday, January 28, 2006

Southernisms

My Aunt sent these in an email today and I thought I would share them with you so you can have a laugh! Have a great weekend everybody! :D
Southernisms
1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --you "PITCH" them.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that"Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' whitetrash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make aturn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol'booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as"y'all."

16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweetmilk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

8 comments:

Melissa said...

Growin' up in Georgia that blessed my heart more than you will ever know!...I laughed out loud!

Suz said...

LOL, Living here in GA 5 years now, I have heard all of these and the word fixin and the way its used drives me nuts, lol.

Hugs Suz

Gayla said...

I used to crack my former father-in-law up with my broad use of the words 'fixin to...' :) He got the biggest kick out of that. (He was a New Yorker)

AFGUY said...

fixin..lol at suz


That was funny.. and ppl in the south do talk funny i might add!

Dave said...

Just caught up after a few days - some of these sayings remind me very much of the locals in this area. The Scots along this coast are a race all by themselves!!!

Joe said...

"Y'all" may be southern, but at least it just sounds harmless. How about "youse" for more than one You as used in Yankeeland?

My mother is from Macon, GA, my father was from Atlanta and I went to high school in Warner Robins.

Bring on them grits and red-eye gravy!

Corry said...

Claire, I dunno whad ye'r talkin bout (grin).

God's Grace.

Leslee said...

Mmm....I'm hungry for some Fried Green 'Maters!!! Gimme some!